transmasculine eccentric part-time transvestite

I am surprisingly feminine for a FTM. A transmasculine eccentric part-time transvestite. This means I am not afraid to rock makeup, and on my most confident days, I might even wear a skirt. However, most of the time I prefer being a delicate, feminine man. Any clothing tips? I would highly appreciate those that make me look highly androgynous.

no one will like me

I am afraid few men will like me because of my lack of penis. I wish I could have all those affairs I always dreamt of but all these vaginaphobia in the gay community is terrifying. I mostly dislike my breasts and cunt. I want to hit on gay guys but they only see a girl. It is killing me.

Virgin gay bar visit

Any tips for a FTM for his first time going to a gay bar? If other transman could give me some advice by asking in this page, that would help me too.

need help

I recently made the connection that I am, indeed, a trans boy. I have looked online for binders and stuff, but then I realized that if I get a chest binder I will most likely have to come out to my mom and she constantly reminds me that I’m a girl more than once a day. If I get a binder, she will definitely notice, like “hey where’d your boobs go?” so I guess I could only bind for like one day a week. I could also say that the normal chest binders are like sports bras or something. I just need help with this badly, I can’t even imagine coming out to my mom.

never properly admitted

Hey, I've never properly admitted I'm a transman, I've tried to tell my partner and she just has said she can't love me if I am. I just lie and say I'm not. I've sort of told my mum and she was good about it, but asked did I really want to go through all the surgery. I keep feeling worse and worse about the whole thing. I wish I had known when I was younger. I feel I'm too scared to do anything now as I don't want to be rejected and end up with no one.

Just wanted to tell you that

you are a wonderful person & you worth it! Never give up, stay strong! Have a nice day! .x :)

Relationships

relationships are so hard to maintain for me because I’m so insecure about being trans. I push away any boy or girl that tries to talk to me romantically because I’m afraid if I tell them I’m trans and I love them that they will leave me for it.

Closeted transition

I’m starting T this week, but I’m not out to my friends and family. I don’t think I have the courage to come out. I’m so fucked.

My dad is a twat

I came out to my parents at a gloat(asatru thing) and when we for in the car to to home they said they ‘understood’ and baisically said that i was a lesbian. Not fucking true. Later my dad used my fear against me and made me say that I was following a stupid trend, but I’m not. Now he constantly refers to me as his 'little girl’ but my mom had occasionally called me a he and gotten me mens shoes and clothes. I am NEVER going to trust my dad ever again. My mom will be getting the respect age deserved. My dads stupid actions along with the teasing throughout my life, which had caused significant psychological damage THANK YOU VERY MUCH YOU TWAT, will NEVER allow him to earn my trust ever again. He needs to accept the part of me that he never knew he had, instead of clinging on to the mask I wore to hide my pain before I realized that I was a man.

Transition blog

Just started my transition blog. I would love for people to follow, support, etc while I’m on my journey! :) http://becomingjackattack.tumblr.com

Sports bras not doing it for you?

Hi friends!
If you’re ftm or nb, but have rather large pectorals you’d like to hide, and sports bras aren’t doing it for you? Especially under t-shirts or other clingy shirts? And you can’t get a binder due to home and/or medical reasons? /have I got a thing for you/.

/dance tops/. I was in ballet and jazz and tap for a while, as was my mom, and those things are designed to keep you flat and still. Things sports bras are not designed for. Sports bras are designed to support /up/ and keep pain from movement to a minimum. Meaning that most sports bras actually push in and up instead of in and out. A dance top, however, is designed to squish in, like a binder except not as strong and stiff. It’s basically a perfect blend between a sports bra and a binder, and because it was designed for dancers (not an easy sport, I tell you), it’s super easy to breathe in and you can exercise in it. It’s easier to breathe for all you asthmatics out there, and it’s super comfy and easy to move in.

They look like the pics above (I’m a 34 C and I included what size I have and what brand), and I suggest a higher neckline (a lower neckline might show through your shirt, while a higher one hugs up against your collarbone). I also suggest a light color like grey so it can go under white shirts (I wore this under a white t-shirt and it didn’t show at all).

Hope I was a help to all my brothers!

chest dysphoria

my chest dysphoria is getting so bad. I can't take it anymore. I'm not a legal adult quite yet and my parents are not supportive one bit. but every day my chest dysphoria gets more and more unbearable. I don't know what to do.

I feel fake

Mostly because I can’t seem to get used to people calling me by my new name- and only seem to respond to my old. Its super embarrasing but I don’t know how to fix it.

STP reviews?

Question!!!! Does anyone know of some good websites/products for getting an STP? Honestly it would be awesome to get a 3 in one but whatever. I've looked at both FreeTom and Peecock but I was wondering if anyone has any reviews they could share or other places to direct a dude. Thanks bros! much love

be gentle

Abused by another TransMan

I am a TransMan and I was emotionally, psychologically and sexually abused by another TransMan. I feel shame for allowing this to happen. But I know now abuse is abuse doesn’t matter how it’s done. and it’s not the survivors fault.

Testosterone, KT tape, binders

http://www.gofundme.com/24yagnbp if you could share this link for my boyfriend it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you SO much.

Hot or not?

I am a closeted trans guy and I feel very dysphoric about my body, but when I look in the mirror I don't hate my body. I think it's hot. But I don't see it as my own. It makes me feel very confused

binded too long

I think I binded to long and I think I hurt my ribs

Confession from an insecure trans boy

When I wake up in the morning, I usually Skype my friends. This morning, I forgot to put on my binder, and I had obviously visible breasts. Seeing this, my friend decided that I was over the whole “trans” thing, so he kept calling me by my birth name and by female pronouns. It fucking sucked, and I felt like shit. It’s been 4 hours, and I still can’t get over it.

want to live as a cis guy

i have an unsupportive family and i can never tell if my doubts about wanting to start testosterone or even being ftm come from their denial or not. im always so worried and i desperately want to live as a cis guy in the future. nothing about me feels connected with being trans guy or being a girl (not that theyre synonymous or similar in any way), and i believe its internalized transphobia, but i just feel more valid calling myself cis. idk. i just wish some part of me was normal

☹️️

I’m a “non-passing” kinda fem gay trans guy and I feel like no gay guy will be attracted to me. I’ve seen other trans guys date trans guys but they date the ones who “pass” from what I’ve seen and then cis guys want guys who “pass” or other cis guys. I just feel like no one will ever want me TBH. I feel like no mlm will ever be attracted to me :(

Surgery for One

It’s my process, it’s my journey and giving myself the shots was quite the adjustment, its almost effortless now. Despite wanting to end the dysphoria, can I really do it alone? I’m kind of tired doing it alone but I’ll continue anyways, I just get scared & uneasy. I accept however I must go thru it but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I had a hand to hold

I'm scared

I’ve come out of the closet to my parents and some others, but I’m scared that I’m “not trans enough” just because I like to wear dresses some days. I’m scared of starting T, because it’s something I want, but i don’t know what people will think, or if I’ll regret the decision in a couple years.

I’m scared.

of privilege & guilt

I'm a 16(17 in a month & 1/2) year old freshman, no one knows I'm transgender except the staff and a small handful of students. I have parents who use my name and pronouns, for two years I've been nothing but me. I'm privileged. I feel guilty.

Destroyed from binding

i have destroyed my back from binding. i have constant, severe pain even when i'm not binding, but i can't take a break because i have to work to pay rent and for my hormones. i can't afford top surgery but i need it so bad. my dysphoria is as debilitating as my back pain. i don't know what to do.

Clothes, binders and sexual misfortune.

Confession: Some days I feel so pretty I want to wear a cute skirt and crop Top yet still wear a binder. I still am a boy even though I like “girly” clothing it’s just the general public says I can’t be a boy when I want to sometimes wear cute or sexy ‘girly’ clothing.

Binders: I’ve had this crappy cheap loose side clasped binder for about a year now and I’m finally waiting patiently for a new binder in the mail from gc2b should arrive in 3 or so weeks~❤

Misfortune: I don’t know my sexuality 100% but I’m generally mostly attractive to men and I’ve had sex with my *hoo-ha* but I’ve always wanted to try anal but recently I had to have an iliostomy (close to 3months ago) and got my whole colon removed so it may be dangerous for me to have anal with my lover so I’ve just got to accept that. I also have an issue with people calling me a girl because I like having sex with my born genetals and do not plan to get bottom surgery. :/

make it through

I don’t know if I’ll make it through a week. I don’t know if I’ll make it through this day.

Loving myself with her help

My girlfriend Rose always makes me feel good about my body.. sometimes i feel bad that i feel better than usual but.. i love her. She makes me so happy. She helps me feel content with my parts. Hell, she makes me proud of my body. I love her and im really glad that i met her. Shes a gift, and im glad i met her

Body positivity

Some days i feel really good about myself and some days i dont, on the good days i take a picture. Like after i get out of the shower or with nothing but underwear on, i want to post them because i am proud that i can manage to even have good days (im pre surgery) but im afraid of what people are going to say or think. I also think its important to show that not all transmen are what the media portray, like i have a slightly feminine figure and i dont have surgery but thats also what a transman looks like, i want to advocate that with my body but i am slightly afraid.

Shattered

After five years of love and a growing and carefully built relationship and loving together for 3 years, my partner left me in a rush in paragraphs while I was at work- just for the plan to be to run away whenever they felt like jumping ship. Giving up on not only us, our home, but also giving up on me. I feel like my transition is the reason. If not part of the reason. That it’s changed me. That it’s pushed her away. And even if she says it isn’t, there is always that fear. The shittiest part is I have no room to complain. I’ve been on testosterone for a little over 2 years, I’ve got a decent job, my family and friends have been loving and supportive of not only them running away from me but also as I’ve transitioned. I’m still a college student, I’ve got a fat happy cat and a big loving German shepherd. But I’m miserable. It’s been a month and it feel like centuries. I just want to be happy; wake up excited to start a new day, to get support and love from my myself, to figure out what’s best for me and my transitioning. But I don’t know what makes me happy without them. I don’t know what to do without them - food isn’t appealing, cooking bores me, sleep is frequent short panic bursts, nightmares keep me in a horrible mindset, my insomnia has come back in full force, I’m smiling and faking my way through my day when I literally can’t look myself in the mirror. I miss them. I want them to come home. I have put my heart on my sleeve and they don’t even want to try. I just want someone, anyone to talk to. My days are filled with silence. I would love to talk to and get to know other trans kids, non binary, queer, cis, whatever. I just don’t do well on my own and I can’t handle having nobody as a friend in my life. They were my everything and it’s gone. /endrant

From Atlanta, looking for friends

Hey there! Alex here; FTM and been on T for about 2ish years now, working on legally changing my name/sadly pre-op and from Atlanta looking for other trans men and LGBTQA+ people to get to know and talk to. Shoot me a message if you'd like a new friend on this blog or my transition blog; anupliftedevolution (tumblr)

Hysterectomy in Singapore?

Hi all,

Wanna ask if anyone did their hysterectomy in Singapore & whether they are able to get the letter for gender marker change after the procedure. Does doing it under Self-sterilization Act make any difference?

Thanks.

Singapore

Not a princess but a Knight

The first time I really realized that I didn't want to be seen as a girl was back in grade four drama class when we were readying for our year-end production...that year it was The 12 Dancing Princesses. I always dressed in boy clothing, cut my hair as short as my parents let me, was into traditionally masculine things, but it was during this time that I really realized how badly I felt being seen as a girl.

My teacher had assigned me the role as one of the princesses and I asked if I could be a knight instead (because come on, knights are awesome). She told me that all the girls were to play the girls and that the guys would play the guys...that didn't go over well with me. I begged and pleaded, not wanting to be stuck in a dress that would no doubt make me feel uncomfortable and sick...but she didn't listen.

Honestly, I wanted to brush off being trans for so long by hiding behind the label of genderfluid, but it just wasn't right. Now I have to deal with being a strong believer in God that wants to be the man that I believe he intended to be when everyone in my family; nearly everyone I know, says it is sinful and wrong.

You tell me what's sinful here: forcing that little kid to wear that dress; to be forced by society to be a 'proper young lady', or letting that little kid be who they want to be. I'm still that kid...I'm still being forced into that role of a princess when I am a knight...now go on and tell me how being who I am is sinful.

Kalen

What I do not like wearing

I already dress the way I would if I would transition, I think. It's not particularly manly, or even boyish. I love mini shorts to no end. What I do not like wearing, is my body, my face, my voice, my everyone-knows-i'm-a-woman. I want to be able to wear these same clothes and this same hair, but with a body of a man. Is it weird? I feel like I should feel more, I feel like I should feel the need to be more, always more manly and more boyish. On bad days I dress more boyish, to hide the feelings of dysphoria from myself. Is it weird. Am I weird

Finland

This is what transition looks like for me

It bugs me so much when other guys assume I'm new to being trans just because I've only been on T for 8 months. Time on T does not equal time out of the closet!! I have been living full time as a man for years, I have my name legally changed, I navigate in male spaces seamlessly. My choice to wait to be on T has in no way delayed my transition. This is what transition looks like for me, it's different for everyone. There is not one right way/order/time to transition. It's all individual.

USA 

Grope

I really wish I was flat-chested so that I could look good in all my clothes. The problem's that I like groping my own boobs.

Singapore

My abuser hated transmen

My abuser hated trans men. They hated me for being a trans man. Every day they'd yell at me. Don't I know nonbinary people and trans women have it worse, what do I have to complain about.

Sometimes I still feel I have to hate trans men and myself for being one. But I hate more that every safe space we ever had got swamped by people just like my abuser.

UK

Advice for a Malaysian hoping to start HRT in Singapore?

hi guys, I'm from Malaysia and looking forward to start my testosterone therapy in singapore.

I know I need a letter from a therapist before any T shots. But I'd like to get some suggestions from here about the best prices or places for me to get my T.

Heard about Dr Tsoi but I'm not a Singaporean citizen so hope someone here can enlighten me about what I should do. 

Love-hate chest

Not sure if any ftm have this same feelings as me. I appreciate and like my larger chest when im with men i have interest in. I hate my larger chest when im with all women. Confusing...advice pls

So close yet so far...

So I'm going to an endocrinologist... but it's not for hormones. It's for my messed up thyroid. My mom is taking me and I'm still not out to her as trans for safety reasons. I just find it cruel and ironic that I'm going to the doctor that could save me but I can't say anything. What I want will be in front of me but I can't reach out. It makes me feel helpless, hopeless, and disgusting.

United States

Family pressured me

I came out as trans and the pressure my family put on me was just so much. Every day they pivoted between making me less trans and forcing me into transitioning before I was ready and it was so stressful. I got so scared every time my mum wanted to have a serious talk because it was always trying to force me one way or the other. Eventually I lied, said it was just a phase and said i wasnt trans after all and i hate it. i hate being a girl i hate my birth name but what do i do when ill never be taken seriously

UK

Losing hope

i'm losing hope. i came out, and while my friends have been supportive to their abilities, i lost my partner over it. i live in a small town, and my family is not very supportive, so i'm constantly being misgendered in public, by my friends, and at home. my mental illnesses have been so debilitating that i'm not in school and i haven't been able hold a job. i don't have any interests that motivate me for the future, there's nothing i want to do except run away. all i can think about is how complicated it is being trans to protect yourself legally, like switching your gender markers, changing your name, etc, and how it's going to take a long time before i could start T, and even longer trapped wearing a binder... i never wanted any of this. i didn't ask for this. i don't want this. i don't want to be alive anymore, and i don't know what to do.

USA 

unemployed during transition

im in the beginning of my physical transition just one month into hrt so i don’t pass exactly i look more androgynous than anything and recently lost my job. so i know i need to look for another one but i keep hesitating, i find my self creating excuse after excuse as to why i need to hold off. like my name change is pending so i have to go threw the explanation of why my half my documents are under a different masculine name. and that eventually my employment documents will need to be changed, or that soon i will start to look and sound differently. why i don’t use female pronouns and the agitation of constant misgendering. i’m “out” in my personal social circle to friends and family and iv become comfortable in my bubble where the people i know, know who i am and treat me as any other person its when i wander out side that bubble where i begin to have major amounts of anxiety and self doubt which blows i used to be such a social person. 

Super cheap binders?

Um, hello! I'm a freshman in high school, and I need a binder, but I can't afford one unfortunately. I currently bind with ace bandages, and for health reasons, I can't continue that. Do you happen to know where I can get a binder for super cheap?

Restaurant waiter made me cry

on friday night when i was picking up a takeaway from a restaurant, the man giving us our food shook my hand and called me 'young man'!!! he also said some other stuff regarding me being a man as well. this is the first time this stuff has happened to me and i almost cried when i left the restaurant!! i'm still glowing, it felt amazing, especially since i'm not on t or anything

I got my first binder today

And even though it was a struggle and a half to put in on, looking at the mirror and seeing an almost flat chest was one of the best feelings I’ve felt in a long time. :)

How to go about that

What the fuck. Maybe because I'm faded but. FTM here I think but then I want to get fit and fuck a girl with my d but want a guy to fuck my pussy. Uhm not sure how to go about that

My future wife supports me but not my family

And I’m tired of it. They always misgender me but not her, and I’m glad she loves me who for I truly am. Some times, I just want to move in with her so I can leave my Transphobic family behind.

Dust

sometimes i take a shower with the lights off because i hate seeing myself in the mirror.

i hate that i was born like this, and i hate that my parents just wanted a kid who wasn’t broken and what did i give them?

i’m tired of people being afraid of me.

i’m tired of feeling like a liability.

i’m tired of feeling like a bird with a wing that broke and never healed quite right. 

i’m tired of feeling like a tourist in my own home.

i don’t know how much longer i can do this. 

Awkard Presentation

I came out to my parents as a transgender man, and they didn’t really believe me. I thought it wouldn’t bother as much. It doesn’t, but I find myself feeling awkward when I want to present myself in masculine clothes, let alone wear my binder around them. Even when I went home for Spring Break this past week and I had just trimmed my hair, my parents had a problem with it. I just thought they would be a little more lenient on how I dress my body. They still see me as their daughter and nothing is going to change that. To them, I was born a “girl” and that’s what “God” wants me to be. Sorry, parents. I don’t believe in your God. Never did.

Strict mother

Hi! This is less a confession and more looking for advice... I'm trans, but my mother refuses to accept it. She says that I "don't act like normal boys" and that I'm just trying to hide the fact that I'm a lesbian (even though I'm aro/ace) or trying to hurt her. The worst part is, I'm stuck with her for at least another two years and probably more and I'm scared to go to anyone else for advice. She's incredibly strict and I'm hardly allowed to do anything. I'm scared and upset... What can I do?

i can't cope anymore

i can’t deal with this any more. i can’t deal with all the waiting and being in this body and having all this shit to deal with. i cut today for the first time in months and it didn’t even help like it usually does. i’m so tired and numb i can’t cope any more

Binders for especially large chests?

Do you know of any binders that work for especially large chests? I wear anywhere from an L to an M cup in bras and have had little to no success with a full length binder from underworks and a tri-top from gc2b (they just make me look squished and like I'm spilling out the sides my moms compared me to an overstuffed sandwhich or broken wrap :/

Wishful thinking

I’m a transman and I really wish my trans girlfriend would give me head at anytime and not only right after I’ve showered :/

Pronoun angst

Ok so I have an issue. It's common that transmales hate being called ladies or whatever the hell. But someone said to me "Ladies First" and I almost freaking lost it. Especially since I had to deal being called by my birth name as well. Ugh. I know they had good intentions because I am not out but how do I suppress my urge to scream "I AM NOT A FUCKING GIRL" whenever called one????

Also. Someone outted me on purpose because I came out to them and made a huge mistake since they are SUPER conservative. And because I told them to call me he and then someone called me "she" (ugh) she screamed loudly "WHY DO THEY GET TO CALL YOU SHE IT ISNT FAIR. WHY DO I HAVE TO CALL YOU HE" I looked her dead in the eye and misgendered and misnamed her. Idk if it was the right way to go, but idk I just lose control when faced with transphobia... I'm scared to come out to anyone now. Thoughts??

I hate lesbians

I hate lesbians. They creep on me more than any other demographic does. I rarely ever feel safe around them, because I’ve only met a couple of lesbians ever (both trans and cis) who aren’t predatory and/or invalidating.

just came out to my Dad

I just came out to my dad and I didn't think that he would be accepting and he was so I thought I would share it to let people know that things don't always go bad

Scared of going bald

I'm really scared I'm going to go bald or something when I start t. I also saw this thing that said that the more likely you are to grow a beard the more likely you'll go bald. I'm adopted so I don't know anything about the genetics behind it. So I'm really freaking scared bc I don't wanna go bald.

Boys can have feelings too

My mum loves uber flamboyant famous males but I can’t be kinda feminine. I’m sensitive and emotional and feminine. Like I’m literally the same person I always was. Just different pronouns. People just expected me to become an emotionless drone or something. I have feelings. A lot of them. And v little control over my emotions right now bc of the hormones I’m on. It’s really annoying and wish it would stop.

I can't stop crying

I hate myself. I can’t stop crying. I wish I had come out earlier so that I could be on T already, because I can’t take this dysphoria anymore I can’t.

Any advice for coming out?

I am still in the closet and i’m scared of coming out. So far… The only one who knows who I am going to come out about it is my best friend and my little brother… My friend is really supportive of me but my brother absolutely refuses to even register me being trans and insists that I’m his older sister and that’s who I am now so that’s who ill always be….. Any advice for coming out…?

My doctor actually said this

My doctor said to me “oh sorry, I cannot give you a referral for a therapist so you can get your harmones, because it is against my religion.”

Wish to get breast cancer

Sometimes, on my worst days, I wish to get breast cancer so my parents would have to let me have breast removal surgery. 
But don’t worry, I don’t try to do anything dangerous.

Breasts -- my worst and best attribute

My breasts cause me a lot of dysphoria because they're so large but sometimes I think maybe they're my only positive physical attribute since I never get compliments about any other specific aspect of my appearance

Worried about finding a job

Hi,
As a pre-T foreign transgender student in Sg, I would like to ask if there are any complications in finding jobs or getting an EP in Sg as a transman. I'm about to graduate and I can't wait to transition but I'm worried about finding job and EP issues. If anyone has been through this or know anyone with similar situation, it would be really really great to have some advice. Many thanks. :) (Singapore)

Attracted to FTMs

I am a femme at heart. I have always been attracted to FTMs. I hope to have a family with him.

Tomboy Sha. (Singapore)

Demi-Homoromantic Gray-asexual or demiromantic Homosexual... who can't stand vaginas

So... I'm a gay transboy and if you ask, I've identified as such since the third grade. My sexuality however... was always confusing to me. I knew I liked boys but for most of my years I couldn't accept it because I was taught that I wouldn't be a real transboy if I still found attraction to other boys. It wasn't until the last year of middle school that I found that it was okay. That I was not the only trans gay boy. So I was content for a while. That is... until a friend of mine who also happens to be trans confessed to me. I harbored no feelings for him so I said no, feeling guilt but also knowing I did the right thing. Yet... The thought of dating another trans guy was new to me, something I never thought about before.
Also to clarify, I sort of clash between Demi-Homoromantic Gray-asexual or demiromantic Homosexual... I just can't really identify as one just yet.
Anyways... a few years after that I may have requited his feelings (may bc tbh I still don't know if it was out of pity or me trying to believe I loved him). And everything was great except he was... more sexual than I thought.
I'm still a virgin, so you know how that went, but when we tried...
I felt... sick? And I feel so horrible that I did because it wasn't the intimacy that disgusted me it was because... I just can't stand vaginas...
There. Thats what this confession is about.

And I feel so bad.
Because I'm okay with the thought of dating transguys because their guys... but if it were to become sexual I.
Just can't do it.
I remember those videos they'd show you when they taught puberty and I'd feel the same sick revolting feeling looking at the video to any vagina.
Thats why Im not sure how to identify myself.
Cause I know I'm not totally asexual, but if I were to label myself as gay yet can not feel sexually attracted to a trans guy (who did not undergo bottom surgery) than... how is that fair?
I'm at least 80% sure Its because I can't stand my own nether regions but I feel like that's a shit excuse.
Yet no matter how I try... if i just LOOK at a vagina I feel like gagging? That may seem as an exaggeration but I assure you that its far from it.

I don't want to make it seem as I look at Transpeople (or any other persons) as walking genitalia because I don't. I know that I am 100% alright with dating any guy cis or trans. But if we were to be sexual... I would never pull through much less start with a transboy.
And before you ask, "what about transgirls?" I'll be clear now that I do not find girls sexually or romantically appealing no matter the genitalia.

It just... bothers me so much you know? Seeing posts about how people should accept the genitalia of a transperson makes me go "Hell yeah! Make us feel valid!" But then make me shortly realize... I'm a hypocrite. And I just wish I wasn't.
That I could have sexual relations with a boy cis OR trans.

I also found that being 'penis-repulsed' and 'vagina-repulsed' being a real thing. So this is where the Demi-homoromatic gray asexual came from. Because with finding that those two terms were real that only asexuals can label themselves as such. Yet... calling myself a vagina-repulsed Demi-homoromantic gray asexual seemed kind of... dehumanizing to transboys. Like? An out for someone to be "transphobic". And when I realized that, I once again felt disgust for myself.

Someone please answer me. Tell me how I can fix this because I've done all I can. I can't keep trying to fit myself into a category to only make me feel worse. But I don't want to hurt or offend others too.

Or if maybe... that it's okay?
Fuck, I really don't know how to word this properly but-
Tell me if its okay to label myself as just a (demiromantic) trans GAY boy who just had no sexual attraction to those who own vaginas

Where to buy T online?

Does anyone know where to buy T online? I'm too young to get it through Dr Tsoi without parental consent, but...it's tiring, worrying about passing on the grace of a military undercut and dressing. (Singapore)

Trapped

I never want to go out. I just turned 18, and I'm pre-everything. Pre-t, pre transition, pre-coming out. I don't have many friends, and I'm currently unemployed. My sister always invites me out to socialize, but I usually turn her down. I'm miserable but I don't want to do anything. My family hasn't really noticed anything's wrong, I'm pretty good at hiding it. But I'm miserable. I keep telling myself I'll come out soon, I'll do it soon, any day now, I just have to sit down and write a letter to my parents, really soon. But I haven't. The idea of meeting people scares me, because I know that adding more people to my circle just means that's more people I'll have to come out to later. I feel trapped.

I'm not "in the wrong body"

it bothers me when people (cis and trans) refer to me as "in the wrong body." surprisingly lots of trans guys do it, asking if i wished i was "born a real man" and i just feel so shitty... the reason it took me until the age of 18 to realize i'm a trans man is because everyone told me you had to feel like you were "a man in a female body." my body's completely male, even if i have major dysphoria; my parts aren't "wrong," just different. and they don't make me any less of a man. but it's hard to remember that when people both in and out of the community tell me otherwise :/ (USA)

My body doesn't belong to me

Sometimes I feel like my body doesn't belong to me.
I feel like my body should be flatter and that i should look like more of a man. Everything about my body feel foreign and strange when i really look at it. I can't wait until i start T so i can finally fell better in my own body