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31/08/2015

Do straight transmen have straight privilege?

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Do straight transmen have straight privilege?
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considering privilege is created by society and given whether one asks for it or not. of course, being perceived as a straight male would grant them privilege.
-maxwellstirling

Those that pass more than those that don’t- even then, they still have to be careful in order to pass and be treated as a heterosexual cis gender man, so they don’t have complete straight privilege.
-lunar-mudby

Yeah, if they pass at least.
-just-a-mail-man

I don’t think so. My husband and I are “straight” (though we ID as queer); but are treated like our relationship is less less meaningful than a cis hetero couple.
-caseyreneelopez

Sometimes I mean me and my girlfriend don’t get cat called but I don’t take her to family dinners either.
-xanderthepander

30/08/2015

'privilege'

'privilege'
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Hard to see where the ‘privilege’ lies in being born into a body that does not match your gender. It is like a suffocation that can last for decades. The fact that some transmen get anxiety over this on top of transition, which can be an utter agonising wait in itself, makes me deeply sad and angry.
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Big hugs to you all. Knowing Anxiety as I do it’s not something I’d wish on anyone.
-redrosewitch

29/08/2015

I am binding unsafely

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I am binding unsafely because my family doesnt support me being trans

I know it’s terrible to bind unsafely but I just am having really bad dysforia recently and it sucks
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Yo–stop.
What are you doing? Why are you justifying putting your life and health in danger? Wear a sports bra or two if it’s that bad, but you’re honestly just flat out being irresponsible.

Sorry for not sugar coating it but it needs to be said. You wouldn’t let your friend get away with “I know it’s awful to drink and drive all the time but I’m having such a hard time right now and don’t want other people to drive my car”. So why are you doing that to yourself?
-greymatters

28/08/2015

Being gay and trans is sometimes hard

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Being gay and trans is sometimes hard BC ppl ask why you didn’t stay a girl if you like guys. What’s even harder is not knowing if you’re bisexual or just gay. I said I was bi for a while but idk if that was just cause i felt like a guy so I thought I had to like girls too.
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Same. I’ve been asked flat out many times by family/friends “are you a lesbian? are you bi?” and it would honestly be easier to just come out as one of those than to explain my complex gender/sexuality. It would make people get off my back and be like “oh, yeah, that’s it. That’s why she dresses and acts that way that way” and i’m not offended, being a lesbian and being bi are fine when that’s what you are. I’m not, and it’s so hard.
-graduallyme

27/08/2015

Why hate on stealth?

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I don’t understand why there is so much hate in the community for those who choose to be stealth? I worked so hard for this, paid a lot of money, to be who I am today. What is the point of all that if I have to keep telling people I was once a girl?
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Some of us have to be stealth in some areas of our life just to have a job, and can be out in others.
-theocraticjello



There’s some jealousy to it, because a lot of people wish they could pass but can’t.

There’s also people who take issue with the idea that we need to conform to society’s ideals and that “passing” is over-emphasized. There is certainly value in this perspective - the idea that passing is the most important part of transition, while true for some, is not true for others and should not be touted as the ideal.
-hungryego



I think the point is being a good Samaritan. If we deny who were are, we erase those who transition is not complete or not as physically successful. By shrinking into the crowd we become part of the crowd and we all know that mindset.

You don’t have to walk around with a bubble over your head, but you don’t have to flat deny it or avoid participating in conversations where your trans identity has real bearing. Being proud of who you are now helps other trans people by making us normal.
-girlandtheghost

26/08/2015

Transman who is attracted to lesbians?

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I have just come out as trans to everyone and now I feel like I have no identity. Being a lesbian is all I’ve ever known and now I am terrified that I am going to be viewed as straight. I am not attracted to straight girls, I am attracted to queer girls, but yet I know I want to be male. What does this make me? What am I? I am so confused right now.
-ghost
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Dear Ghost, I considered myself a pretty proud lesbian since middle school, and I met this wonderful person online who later came out to me as transgender. I loved this person so much I decided to stick with them, and now a year later this wonderful man and I are engaged and I identify as queer pansexual. Love comes in all forms and just because you find a lesbian or queer woman to date does not mean she will see you anything less than a man, take my word for it :)
-Ineffable

25/08/2015

Will I still be attracted to girls after taking T?

It's taken me a while to accept that I'm most likely FTM transgender and I just want to be certain.. I'm 17 and seeing a therapist who thinks it would make absolute sense for me to be trans and it sounds right y'know? Any time someone calls me "sir" it's like a rush, but if I get "ma'am" then it's incredibly frustrating... I want to buy a binder but I don't have any way to. I want to go on T but my girlfriend is afraid it'll change my sexuality.

Can someone tell me honestly that if I'm attracted to girls now, that I'll still be attracted to girls after testosterone? If not then is there a reason?

-Eli

24/08/2015

Will transitioning warp my tattoos??

I have two sleeves, my back is nearly covered, my ribs on one side, some on my thighs, and one on my hip

23/08/2015

My mom wants grandchildren

My mom has been nagging a lot about how she wants grandchildren. She knows I am transgender and has sort of accepted it, but she keeps talking about it, like she expects me to deliver her wish. I understand it would make her happy, but I really can’t. I am super uncomfortable about periods, vaginal penetration, in fact, every female function my body has. Let alone becoming pregnant or give birth. I have much respect for transmen who decide to carry their own children, but it is absolutely not for me. The idea of it freaks and stresses me out. It fucking sucks and I feel super guilty. 

22/08/2015

All my life I've been told that I don't matter

I've been told countless times that my problems don't matter because I'm a white transguy. It's driven me to some very dark and often suicidal moments. (Don't worry, I do have help.) I get this from the trans community. I support awareness for all trans people, but whenever I'm told that my problems matter less than every other trans' issues, it drives me to not care and to hate people, which then makes me extremely sad. I'm not that kind of person but I feel driven to it by fellow trans people. 
 I've been told I don't matter all my life, and now everyone around me (those that I support) are also telling me I don't matter. Everyone tells me this. I'm told I'm not special as a trans person (because I'm white, not PoC) and I'm told I'm not discriminated against (b/c I'm white and b/c I'm a guy, not woman). I feel like I have no allies in my community, even though I support all trans people. 

21/08/2015

Do not vacuum "it"

If you’re a transguy on t-
I know the growth downstairs is great. I know it might be tempting, just to see how it feels.
But do not, I repeat do not vacuum it. You will end up in pain and possibly be walking oddly for a few days….
(Maybe just a bit is fine. But if you see any bleeding at all just stop. Just. Don’t go any further.)

20/08/2015

I can't afford top surgery and I'm stealth

i haven’t participated in any queer space like this in several years for a number of reasons, but i really want to put this out in the world in a place away from people who know me.
i can’t afford top surgery. i couldn’t afford T, and had to stop after only a year. I’m stealth with people who know me, but I don’t pass with strangers. Not to say that I need to, but it’d be nice.
Top surgery, though, has become necessary. I used to think I could wait, but I don’t think I can anymore. It’s been 6 years. I can’t breathe as deeply as I should, stand as straight as I should, and I don’t know if it’s from damage caused by binding or damage caused by having these particular tumors.
My partner asked me if I wanted to start a go-fund-me or something of the sort. Other guys have been very successful getting donations for surgeries, and surely our friends would want to help, or even strangers.
But I’m stealth with his family, my coworkers, and I *need* to stay that way. There’s no option there. Even if I did think people would want to help me, it’s just not possible.
And I hate it. But there’s nothing I can do.

19/08/2015

My mom said, "Yes, Ma'am!" to me on the phone

My mom said, “Yes, Ma'am!” to me while we were on the phone today. It hit me hard, but she didn’t even notice…and I didn’t correct her. My voice is deeper than both my brothers’ and she still doesn’t notice; but I’m as much to blame because I don’t correct her because I don’t feel like I can.

18/08/2015

Ice-skating cutie

I went ice skating and there was this cute, obviously gay guy doing turns and small jumps casually and my rented skates sucked so I couldn’t impress him, oh wait I wouldn’t be able to impress him anyway because I don’t look like a boy really and he was with someone fuck FUCK FUUUCK! 
*twirls away furiously*

17/08/2015

I had to beg my ex's father

I had to beg the father of my now-ex-girlfriend to ban her from seeing me again, because she had no sense of personal boundaries, and had outed me to several people even when I explicitly told her not to. It’s been two months since I last had to see her, and I feel 80% better than I have in the past three years put together.

16/08/2015

My biggest fear

My biggest fear is no one wanting to love me because my genitals don't match my gender identity. I see so many amazing and attractive people and the one thing that holds me back is this idea that once they see what's in my pants they won't want to be with me anymore. I'm not getting bottom surgery either, since I am afraid of doing anything medical involving that area, but I'm getting top surgery. Does anyone else experiance this? I feel really alone. 

-E.H.

15/08/2015

I hate myself

Deeply and whole-heartedly. I can’t look at myself. I can’t do anything, I can’t write a paper, unless it has something to do with transgender rights. It makes me sick, why can’t I be normal? My dysphoria is awful. I just..I feel so wrong, gross, stupid, worthless. I wish I was dead.

14/08/2015

[closeted transboy]

if other guys treated me as a friend and not a possible date, i think my dysphoria wouldn't eat into my mind as much as it does. i can't straight out ask them to treat me like they'd treat their guy friends but why oh why do you have to refer to me as a "beautiful girl".

13/08/2015

Trans pride?

I want to feel this “trans pride” thing but honestly… I’m too ashamed of myself to feel pride. I can’t even say the word ‘transgender’ without wanting to curl up and hide forever.

12/08/2015

My family isn't really supportive

My older siblings are just treating it like a phase, my older sister (she’s cisgender) told me that I didn’t know what trans was. My parents ignored it, well my mom called me by the name I want to be called. It makes me feel like shit, then I remembered I felt like crap for a long ass time and thought I would be accepted by the family that claims to be opened minded but they rejected me so I’ll reject them. I hope they like a sarcastic bastard.

11/08/2015

i'm really discouraged

about the amount of hate and negativity at trans men and trans boys in our tags. like, outside irl isn’t a safe space, so shouldnt online be one? shouldnt the trans man tag be a safe place? i just dont get why we’re not allowed to have a space without other people trying to shit all over it (dont even get me started on the “boys are gross! trans boys are disgusting!” posts i’ve seen floating around smh)

10/08/2015

Someone on the FTM reddit

recently came to terms with being trans after a few months of internal struggle.

I want to be happy for them, but I can’t, because they’re an asshole and deep down and I’m kind of sad someone like that is going to be a part of the trans community now.

I  feel like the last thing the world needs are more emotionally-stunted dudebros who carry around internalized transphobia and blatant misogyny.

A part of me wishes their struggle would have lead them back to thinking they were cis so we wouldn’t have to deal with them.

09/08/2015

Want advice and friends

If there's any transitioning transmen here, I'd really appreciate some advice and/or Trans friends. If anyone would be willing to chat, could you please kik me? It's on my profile. Thanks in advance

Kik: Lilbear831

08/08/2015

“We hit 4k followers BOOYAH!!!“ — A special message from the creator of Transman Confessions


There must be more guys like me out there,” I thought to myself at 5 a.m. one sleepless morning, a year and four months ago.
I am three months on T with renewed zest for life, raring to go.
So I finish drinking my coffee; and quietly listen to the tropical rain still pouring its heart out. 
I decide to crank open the laptop and with a few taps on the keyboard, I am suddenly the owner of a small ‘confessions’ blog for guys like me. Kind of like a ‘Post Secret for transmen’, if you will.
I am scared and unsure if this will amount to anything.
“What’s the worst that could happen? NOTHING! The worst is that nothing happens on your blog! And that’s hardly life-threatening, you damn ass,” consoles my exasperated BFF.
Fears allayed, it was time to take action.
I invite all of the 5 friends I had come out to to Like my empty page. I write in to different LGBTQIA+ groups for help to spread the word. After a couple months of waiting, the blog gets its first confession. Hurrah! Validation!
I blink. And now there are 4,000 friends on Tumblr.

I am not a fetish

Whenever I check out hookup apps, it saddens me that transgender is considered a fetish/weird/special and exciting thing. I am not a fetish, I am not the “Best of both worlds.” I am a person.

07/08/2015

Heartbroken

Why take someone's heart only to break that profound love. Been with my girlfriend 3 1/2 years only to have her fully support me on transition, then to do a 360 and turn against me. As of today I'm officially single. I take back my heart

What's my next move. Officially single and ready to grieve and out things into perspective. I take my heart back

06/08/2015

Can't wait to fully transition

Sometimes I get really down about this transgender thing and don’t see the point of it anymore. I can’t wait to be fully transitioned and not be trans anymore, just some guy. It will take me a couple of years but oh, the freedom it will bring.

05/08/2015

My grandma just called me a spinster

because I never have a boyfriend... I just don't have the energy to explain her I am a gay transman and am still figuring everything out... Don't want to jump in a random relationship without being comfortable with myself... Her saying that hurts more than I expected

03/08/2015

Hey, I just turned trans

...and I'm wondering how do I meet women? I used to be a very flamboyant sexual energised lesbian and now I'm a scared closed off introverted man. I feel like I'm lying to women if I flirt with them. Help?

02/08/2015

Transphobic family

I need to get this off my chest so I’m sending this here. I’ve identified as a genderfluid for years. I have a transphobic/homophobic family and I’m not allowed to get a “mans haircut.”

I wear a binder everyday and men’s clothes. I’m a closet transgender. I haven’t told anyone yet and I’m too afraid to tell my friends and girlfriend. 

I’m 16 and have decided that the moment I can move out I’m going to get a haircut and come out. I’m just scared that people won’t accept me, and I already know I’m going to lose my family.

01/08/2015

For guys in Singapore

For SG guys, "MediShield Life" is going to kick in this year and it promises "Protection For All Singapore Citizens and Permanent Residents, including the very old and those who have pre-existing illnesses." Does this mean we all can now qualify for health insurance within this scheme and won't be excluded automatically? Anybody in the insurance field can confirm?