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02/01/2017

i think i'm bi

I’m afraid to tell my fiance that I think I’m bi, and I want to have a threesome with another ftm or cisgender male. She’s already had fears that I might turn out gay, but I love having sex with her. I just think some guys are so sexy.

01/01/2017

life is really unfair

//vent time//
i’m a 14 y/o transboy who lately came out to his mom who…is really transphobic. she wont let me even get a haircut or buy a new sports bra to flatten my chest a bit. my dysphoria is there 24/7 and i cant do anything about it. she makes me feel so gross for “wanting to be a guy”. i hate it.
i knew i was trans for about a year, i was questioning my gender since i went to primary school.
…meanwhile there is another transboy who imidiatelly after realising he was trans (about 1 months ago) he came out to his parents and they turned out to be really supportive. i tried to ignore it until…he got a top surgery. A TOP SURGERY. a 16,000zł (zł is a polish currency) (i live in poland tbh) top surgery. THEY MANAGED TO GET HIM A TOP SURGERY IN 2 MONTHS DONE BY ONE OF THE TWO SURGEONS IN POLAND THAT ACTUALLY SPECIALISE IN THAT.
so yeah i’m really fuccing done with my life and dysphoria is making me unable to function properly, i would give anything just to get a 5$ binder from amazon (tbh i dont care if it will break my ribs and kill me, if it will flatten my chest i’m getting it and i’m wearing the shit out if that), i dont care anymore about my health, i harmed myself before many times, why not do it again jUST TO GET RID OF THE DYSPHORIA PLEASE SOMEBODY TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME
i know so many people have it worse than me. i’m sorry.
//end of vent time//

31/12/2016

transmasculine eccentric part-time transvestite

I am surprisingly feminine for a FTM. A transmasculine eccentric part-time transvestite. This means I am not afraid to rock makeup, and on my most confident days, I might even wear a skirt. However, most of the time I prefer being a delicate, feminine man. Any clothing tips? I would highly appreciate those that make me look highly androgynous.

30/12/2016

no one will like me

I am afraid few men will like me because of my lack of penis. I wish I could have all those affairs I always dreamt of but all these vaginaphobia in the gay community is terrifying. I mostly dislike my breasts and cunt. I want to hit on gay guys but they only see a girl. It is killing me.

29/12/2016

Virgin gay bar visit

Any tips for a FTM for his first time going to a gay bar? If other transman could give me some advice by asking in this page, that would help me too.

28/12/2016

need help

I recently made the connection that I am, indeed, a trans boy. I have looked online for binders and stuff, but then I realized that if I get a chest binder I will most likely have to come out to my mom and she constantly reminds me that I’m a girl more than once a day. If I get a binder, she will definitely notice, like “hey where’d your boobs go?” so I guess I could only bind for like one day a week. I could also say that the normal chest binders are like sports bras or something. I just need help with this badly, I can’t even imagine coming out to my mom.

27/12/2016

never properly admitted

Hey, I've never properly admitted I'm a transman, I've tried to tell my partner and she just has said she can't love me if I am. I just lie and say I'm not. I've sort of told my mum and she was good about it, but asked did I really want to go through all the surgery. I keep feeling worse and worse about the whole thing. I wish I had known when I was younger. I feel I'm too scared to do anything now as I don't want to be rejected and end up with no one.

26/12/2016

Just wanted to tell you that

you are a wonderful person & you worth it! Never give up, stay strong! Have a nice day! .x :)

25/12/2016

Relationships

relationships are so hard to maintain for me because I’m so insecure about being trans. I push away any boy or girl that tries to talk to me romantically because I’m afraid if I tell them I’m trans and I love them that they will leave me for it.

24/12/2016

Closeted transition


I’m starting T this week, but I’m not out to my friends and family. I don’t think I have the courage to come out. I’m so fucked.