I did horrible things when i was younger

I'm stuck in the wrong body and I have no way of getting out of it. I did horrible things when I was younger... I'd let any boy touch me because I was always told I was supposed to be a girl and one of my friends said, "My older brother says that girls are supposed to let boys touch them like in the videos." (if you didn't catch on, the videos he was talking about were pornographic videos) I thought that letting them do that would turn me into a girl and I'd stop being the disappointment that I am... It didn't help. I thought that changing the way I dressed would help. It didn't. I'm now legally an adult and still stuck in the wrong body because I can't afford to become the man that I am. I'll have to suck it up and be the "tomboy daughter" instead of the "handsome son"... It sucks because I have no one to talk to because no one understands how I feel..

my kik is closet.monster