Pages

21/06/2016

unemployed during transition

im in the beginning of my physical transition just one month into hrt so i don’t pass exactly i look more androgynous than anything and recently lost my job. so i know i need to look for another one but i keep hesitating, i find my self creating excuse after excuse as to why i need to hold off. like my name change is pending so i have to go threw the explanation of why my half my documents are under a different masculine name. and that eventually my employment documents will need to be changed, or that soon i will start to look and sound differently. why i don’t use female pronouns and the agitation of constant misgendering. i’m “out” in my personal social circle to friends and family and iv become comfortable in my bubble where the people i know, know who i am and treat me as any other person its when i wander out side that bubble where i begin to have major amounts of anxiety and self doubt which blows i used to be such a social person. 

20/06/2016

Super cheap binders?

Um, hello! I'm a freshman in high school, and I need a binder, but I can't afford one unfortunately. I currently bind with ace bandages, and for health reasons, I can't continue that. Do you happen to know where I can get a binder for super cheap?

19/06/2016

Restaurant waiter made me cry

on friday night when i was picking up a takeaway from a restaurant, the man giving us our food shook my hand and called me 'young man'!!! he also said some other stuff regarding me being a man as well. this is the first time this stuff has happened to me and i almost cried when i left the restaurant!! i'm still glowing, it felt amazing, especially since i'm not on t or anything

18/06/2016

I got my first binder today

And even though it was a struggle and a half to put in on, looking at the mirror and seeing an almost flat chest was one of the best feelings I’ve felt in a long time. :)

17/06/2016

How to go about that

What the fuck. Maybe because I'm faded but. FTM here I think but then I want to get fit and fuck a girl with my d but want a guy to fuck my pussy. Uhm not sure how to go about that

16/06/2016

My future wife supports me but not my family

And I’m tired of it. They always misgender me but not her, and I’m glad she loves me who for I truly am. Some times, I just want to move in with her so I can leave my Transphobic family behind.

15/06/2016

Dust

sometimes i take a shower with the lights off because i hate seeing myself in the mirror.
i hate that i was born like this, and i hate that my parents just wanted a kid who wasn’t broken and what did i give them?
i’m tired of people being afraid of me.
i’m tired of feeling like a liability.
i’m tired of feeling like a bird with a wing that broke and never healed quite right. 
i’m tired of feeling like a tourist in my own home.
i don’t know how much longer i can do this. 

14/06/2016

Awkard Presentation

I came out to my parents as a transgender man, and they didn’t really believe me. I thought it wouldn’t bother as much. It doesn’t, but I find myself feeling awkward when I want to present myself in masculine clothes, let alone wear my binder around them. Even when I went home for Spring Break this past week and I had just trimmed my hair, my parents had a problem with it. I just thought they would be a little more lenient on how I dress my body. They still see me as their daughter and nothing is going to change that. To them, I was born a “girl” and that’s what “God” wants me to be. Sorry, parents. I don’t believe in your God. Never did.

Strict mother

Hi! This is less a confession and more looking for advice... I'm trans, but my mother refuses to accept it. She says that I "don't act like normal boys" and that I'm just trying to hide the fact that I'm a lesbian (even though I'm aro/ace) or trying to hurt her. The worst part is, I'm stuck with her for at least another two years and probably more and I'm scared to go to anyone else for advice. She's incredibly strict and I'm hardly allowed to do anything. I'm scared and upset... What can I do?

13/06/2016

i can't cope anymore

i can’t deal with this any more. i can’t deal with all the waiting and being in this body and having all this shit to deal with. i cut today for the first time in months and it didn’t even help like it usually does. i’m so tired and numb i can’t cope any more

12/06/2016

Binders for especially large chests?

Do you know of any binders that work for especially large chests? I wear anywhere from an L to an M cup in bras and have had little to no success with a full length binder from underworks and a tri-top from gc2b (they just make me look squished and like I'm spilling out the sides my moms compared me to an overstuffed sandwhich or broken wrap :/

11/06/2016

Wishful thinking

I’m a transman and I really wish my trans girlfriend would give me head at anytime and not only right after I’ve showered :/

10/06/2016

Pronoun angst

Ok so I have an issue. It's common that transmales hate being called ladies or whatever the hell. But someone said to me "Ladies First" and I almost freaking lost it. Especially since I had to deal being called by my birth name as well. Ugh. I know they had good intentions because I am not out but how do I suppress my urge to scream "I AM NOT A FUCKING GIRL" whenever called one????

Also. Someone outted me on purpose because I came out to them and made a huge mistake since they are SUPER conservative. And because I told them to call me he and then someone called me "she" (ugh) she screamed loudly "WHY DO THEY GET TO CALL YOU SHE IT ISNT FAIR. WHY DO I HAVE TO CALL YOU HE" I looked her dead in the eye and misgendered and misnamed her. Idk if it was the right way to go, but idk I just lose control when faced with transphobia... I'm scared to come out to anyone now. Thoughts??

09/06/2016

I hate lesbians

I hate lesbians. They creep on me more than any other demographic does. I rarely ever feel safe around them, because I’ve only met a couple of lesbians ever (both trans and cis) who aren’t predatory and/or invalidating.

08/06/2016

just came out to my Dad

I just came out to my dad and I didn't think that he would be accepting and he was so I thought I would share it to let people know that things don't always go bad

07/06/2016

Scared of going bald

I'm really scared I'm going to go bald or something when I start t. I also saw this thing that said that the more likely you are to grow a beard the more likely you'll go bald. I'm adopted so I don't know anything about the genetics behind it. So I'm really freaking scared bc I don't wanna go bald.

06/06/2016

Boys can have feelings too

My mum loves uber flamboyant famous males but I can’t be kinda feminine. I’m sensitive and emotional and feminine. Like I’m literally the same person I always was. Just different pronouns. People just expected me to become an emotionless drone or something. I have feelings. A lot of them. And v little control over my emotions right now bc of the hormones I’m on. It’s really annoying and wish it would stop.

05/06/2016

I can't stop crying

I hate myself. I can’t stop crying. I wish I had come out earlier so that I could be on T already, because I can’t take this dysphoria anymore I can’t.

04/06/2016

Any advice for coming out?

I am still in the closet and i’m scared of coming out. So far… The only one who knows who I am going to come out about it is my best friend and my little brother… My friend is really supportive of me but my brother absolutely refuses to even register me being trans and insists that I’m his older sister and that’s who I am now so that’s who ill always be….. Any advice for coming out…?

03/06/2016

My doctor actually said this

My doctor said to me “oh sorry, I cannot give you a referral for a therapist so you can get your harmones, because it is against my religion.”

02/06/2016

Wish to get breast cancer

Sometimes, on my worst days, I wish to get breast cancer so my parents would have to let me have breast removal surgery. 
But don’t worry, I don’t try to do anything dangerous.

01/06/2016

Breasts -- my worst and best attribute

My breasts cause me a lot of dysphoria because they're so large but sometimes I think maybe they're my only positive physical attribute since I never get compliments about any other specific aspect of my appearance