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02/12/2014

On privilege

I worry If I transition to male as an ftm, I’ll be labeled as a “privileged and oppressive male” by people. Even though transmen do benefit from male privilege after they transition, if they had a female identity before, they didn’t benefit from male privilege and were just as oppressed as females. More so, we don’t have cis privilege. I’m afraid of expressing this idea on tumblr.
In cases like these, You think you are not entitled to male white privilege but I bet if you and I were walking down a street in any city, I would be stopped and frisked before you.
That right there is an example of white privilege and being Trans.
And I say this because this is true and has happened to me before
I understand you do not want to be viewed like that but this is a harsh reality from the post racial society of America that we live in
-Khalil

Long term girlfriend of FTM

Hey I would like to write on your blog , i am a long term grilfriend of a ftm pre lastoperation I think some of your georgous guys would like to hear this side of seeing the changes in a ftm progress :)

Want someone to talk to

I'm a pansexual transman on T now for 2.5 months and I want some advice and some fellow transmen to talk to about what is going on. Any GA transmen? Message me on my ftm blog anupliftedevolution

GA, USA

Privileged FTMS

My confession: Everyone wants to ignore race in America. But don't act like when you transition FTM and you are White, you actually earn more White Privilege. While on the other hand, you are black FTM you encounter even more discriminations. This is very maddening and makes me sick to my stomach!

Will Singapore hospitals hire trans people?

What are the chances that SG hospitals will hire trans people? I am interested in radiation therapy but it seems like only the hospitals will hire a RT.

[Singapore]      

My boyfriend may not be gay..

My boyfriend says he is bi and loves me. But I see him flirting with women, cis and trans, all the time.

He loved my top surgery, as did I, but now that I'm going on t, I fear my hairy stocky bald self (as all the men in my family are) will repulse him, as he likes androgynous pretty boys.

I still can't take one more day of being misgendered, and ill just have to deal with his disgust.

I am a gay masculine trans guy. He is fem and cis, and people always think he's gay. Meanwhile, I fear he's straight.

[melancholic trans boy, USA]      

Desperate

I am a trans who feel like cutting off what's in between my legs, so extra if I desperate to transit- MTF trans

 [Cassandra Shawn, Singapore]   

01/12/2014

It's harder for transwomen..

I can't help but be envious of the fact that transmen have things more easier than transwoman in many ways. Especially the part where most transwoman have to serve ns unless we did srs at a age of like 17? How the hell is that gonna be possible. We're gonna end up wasting two years which is like a stop in time, cant study, cant work for money for transition.

Time seems to be much more important for transwomans, most of the changes in our bodies through puberty as a boy cant be reversed, the older we get, the harder it will be to transition.

Also the fact that it is almost impossible for us to be less visible in the society, unless we spend over a hundred thousand on a full body plastic surgery including voice, which is literally impossible at a young age of 18, unless our parents are millionaires and they approve greatly of us.

Im not complaining that transmens have an easier transition life, but reality speaking, for transwomens, and because of society expectation for how a female should be like. Its hard...

Sorry if offeended any transmen in any way i just wanted to voiceout my opinions because i don have anyone to talk to about this.

If you are feeling like a nice person and wanna talk to me about anything, leave a comment [on Facebook] and i'll probably add you up

[Singapore]      

Vegetarian / vegan trans?

Any vegetarians or vegans trans out there, MTF, e.g?

[SHS, Singapore]

[OP's e-mail provided to admin, so write in if you would like to make friends with the OP -- http://bit.ly/transmanSG ]    

25/11/2014

Is this the trans equivalent of 'pray away the gay' ?

I told my mom that I don't feel like a girl, that I feel like a boy and explained to her about transgender stuff
She still refers me as her girl and she says that I need to meditate
It hurts

Everything is so wrong now

Everthing is so wrong now
My parents are divorced
I turn out to be a transgender
And I have a crush on a female uni teacher who always smiles at me
I don't know how to deal with these feelings

I secretly laugh

Just wanna add sumting on to the Lgbt know ur T event just now [18 Nov 2014]. I identify as a transman but I like it n secretly laugh when ppl tell me ''you look like a guy/man'', contrary to what June had said about transgendered ppl not liking it when ppl say he/she look LIKE a man/woman.

[Singapore]

Butch -vs- Trans?

How do you identify butch from ladies and transman from butch? as a waiteress, myself being transgender too, i seen alot of customer, some of them looked somewhat like butch and some come with another girl and they seem too close to be just friends. If only i could identify them on sight, maybe i would earn some extra tips by being able to call them by the right pronoun they prfer without asking ><

[Singapore]

The Swan Project

///// TRIGGER WARNING ///////
///// Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual) ///////

***********************************************************************

Kindly post this article on your wall. This is my story and it'll make alot of changes in ppls' lives.

http://swanprojectsg.wordpress.com/category/voices/

[Sham, Singapore]

06/11/2014

Being a gay transman

Being gay in trans is so difficult. Want to top someone nobody want to be bottom. U tell them 'Female to male?!' They block you    

So far away

Transition is so so far away
I feel like I cannot enjoy anything in life anymore
I just try to lose myself in work
   

02/11/2014

Lou Sullivan (June 16, 1951 – March 2, 1991)

   
Louis Graydon Sullivan was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He was a pioneering activist who, because he was also gay, played a pivotal role in changing the medical diagnosis and treatment of transsexualism. He was also a major force in creating community for trans masculine people.
When Sullivan was 17, he began a long term relationship with a feminine male lover. By 1973, Sullivan was identifying as a “female transvestite,” and launched a career of transgender community activism with the publication of the article “A Transvestite Answers a Feminist,” which appeared in the Gay People’s Union News. A second article published the following year, “Looking Towards Transvestite Liberation,” remains a landmark for its early investigation of gender identity in homosexual culture.
By 1975, Sullivan was identifying as a female-to-male transsexual, and he moved to San Francisco. He was employed as a woman, but spent most of his time living as a gay man. He sought out surgery but was consistently denied because he was gay. As a result, Sullivan became involved in a campaign to remove homosexual orientation from the list of contraindications for SRS.
He published a booklet called Information for the Female to Male Cross-Dresser and Transsexualwhich disseminated information about finding support groups, counseling, endocrinological and surgical services.
In 1979, Sullivan started taking testosterone and also became a volunteer at the Janus Information Facility (now J2CP), a referral service in San Francisco. He had top surgery in 1980 and started living full time as a gay man. Throughout the 80s, Sullivan continued to wrote about FTM issues in the gay and transgender press, started work on his biography of Jack Garland, and became a popular public speaker.
In 1986, Sullivan had genital reconstruction surgery, and organized what would become FTM International, the first known peer-support group in the U.S. devoted entirely to FTM individuals. Later that year Sullivan was diagnosed with AIDS. He died of an AIDS-related illness on March 2, 1991, at the age of 39.
For more information about Lou Sullivan, explore the Lou Sullivan Society (LSS) website. The LSS has displayed selected materials from Sullivan’s papers in a number of exhibitions, notably “Man-i-fest: FTM Mentoring in San Francisco from 1976 to 2009,”  which was open through much of 2010 in the second gallery at the society’s headquarters at 657 Mission St. in San Francisco, and “Our Vast Queer Past: Celebrating San Francsico’s GLBT History,” the debut exhibition in the main gallery at the society’s GLBT History Museum that opened in January 2011 in San Francisco’s Castro District.

October is LGBT History Month. This post on Lou Sullivan is taken from Transguys.com by Joshua Riverdale. Read all the stories on A Brief History of FTM Trans Civilisation.

20th Century Transgender Men

These historical profiles of some of the key trans men of the past century highlight their remarkable achievements. Their perseverance in the face of prejudice has earned them a place in the FTM trans history time line.

01/11/2014

Back acne and voice change

I have lots of back acne since T. Does anyone get that too? And my voice has not changed much for 4 months after it first dropped tremendously.

[Singapore]

Serious back acne

I have very serious back acne after I started T. Do u guys experience this too? And how do u cope with it? Thanks

[Singapore]


Definition of good

[Previous post]
I hear the bangkok surgeons ain't as great after all? Is this true?

[Submitted response]
What is your definition of "good"? Can stand and pee? have sensation? adult size penis? can have penetrative sex? surgeons have experience? have ftm clients almost daily? Price is lower than the west?

If the above is what you define as good, then Bangkok is good. Only 1 surgeon is good and world reknown.

If you just want top surgery, there are many good ones all over the world. Plenty of photos on the internet for ftm surgeries. Don't bother asking here as the majority in this page did not go under the knife.

Tiny

I'm a really tiny dude and it makes me feel like I can't fit in with the guys at my school, especially because I haven't been transitioning for long.


I f*cked up

I fucked up really badly, this time. I've managed to get the surgeon to hate me. I don't know how I did it - I swear, all I was trying to do was make surgery happen. I don't know how it got this bad, or this far. All I know is that it doesn't look like it's going to happen, and I feel like a waste of space.

I should not cross roads or drive cars for a couple of days, I guess.

28/10/2014

Robert Eads (December 18, 1945 – January 17, 1999)


Robert Eads began transitioning in the late 1980s following a move to Florida. He started testosterone therapy and had top surgery, but because of his age (early- to mid-40s) and the fact that he was showing symptoms of menopause, Eads was told that he would not need a hysterectomy.
In 1996, after moving back to Georgia, Eads suffered severe abdominal pain and vaginal bleeding and received a diagnosis of ovarian cancer. More than two dozen doctors refused to treat Eads because they thought that helping him would harm there practices.
In 1997, Eads was finally treated at the Medical College of Georgia hospital, where he underwent surgical, medical, and radiation therapy over the next year. By 1998, his cancer had spread to his uterus, cervix, and other abdominal organs. He died the following year at the age of 53.
Robert Eads’ life and death was the subject of the award-winning documentary, Southern Comfort.

October is LGBT History Month. This post on Robert Eads is taken from Transguys.com by Joshua Riverdale. Read all the stories on A Brief History of FTM Trans Civilisation.

20th Century Transgender Men

These historical profiles of some of the key trans men of the past century highlight their remarkable achievements. Their perseverance in the face of prejudice has earned them a place in the FTM trans history time line.

22/10/2014

Wilmer “Little Axe” M. Broadnax 1916 – 1994


Wilmer Broadnax was a gospel quartet singer who worked and recorded with many of the most famous gospel groups of his day. Broadnax was born in Houston, and moved to Southern California in the mid 1940s when he began his singing career. By the 1950s, Broadnax–now a diminutive man with glasses and a powerful tenor voice—was performing with one of the most impressive line-ups in gospel quartet history: the Spirit of Memphis Quartet. He went on to work with the Fairfield Four and the Five Blind Boys of Mississippi, and in the early 60s, Broadnax was the front man for a quartet called “Little Axe and the Golden Echoes.” Broadnax retired from touring shortly thereafter, though he continued to record occasionally with the Five Blind Boys of Mississippi through the 70s and 80s.
It was not known that he was a transgender man until the time of his death in 1994.

October is LGBT History Month. This post on Wilmer M. Broadnax is taken from Transguys.com by Joshua Riverdale. Read all the stories on A Brief History of FTM Trans Civilisation.

20th Century Transgender Men

These historical profiles of some of the key trans men of the past century highlight their remarkable achievements. Their perseverance in the face of prejudice has earned them a place in the FTM trans history time line.


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21/10/2014

Michael Dillon (May 1, 1915 – May 15, 1962)

Laurence Michael Dillon was a British physician and the first FTM transsexual to undergo phalloplasty surgery. The pedicled groin flap procedure became known as the Gillies technique and is considered the first reliable phalloplasty procedure. By 1939, Dillon—who was more comfortable in men’s clothes and sincerely felt that he was a man—sought treatment with Dr. George Foss. Testosterone’s androgenic effects were not yet understood, but Dr. Foss provided Dillon with oral testosterone tablets. It is believed that Dillon was the first FTM transsexual to use testosterone therapy.
While in the hospital for a head injury, Dillon connected with a plastic surgeon, a rare specialty at the time, who performed a double mastectomy for him. This surgeon also provided Dillon with a note that would help him have his birth certificate corrected, and put him in touch with Dr. Harold Gillies, who performed phalloplasty surgery for injured soldiers of WWII.
In 1946, Gillies agreed to perform phalloplasty for Dillon, but officially diagnosed him with hypospadias to hide the transsexual nature of the surgery. From 1946 to 1949, Gillies performed at least 13 surgeries on Dillon.
In 1946 Dillon published a book about what we now call transsexuality, Self: A Study in Endocrinology and Ethics. He wrote about “masculine inverts” and claimed this inversion was innate — a hidden physical condition that could not be changed through psychoanalysis and should instead be treated medically.
“Where the mind cannot be made to fit the body, the body should be made to fit, approximately at any rate, to the mind.” – Michael Dillon, Self: A Study in Endocrinology and Ethics
The book brought him to the attention of Roberta Cowell, who by Dillon’s hand would become the first British trans woman to receive MTF sex reassignment surgery. Though Dillon had not yet completed his medical training, he performed an orchiectomy on Cowell, a procedure that was illegal under British law.
Unwanted press attention to his aristocratic background led Dillon to flee to India where he immersed himself in Buddhist studies, pursued ordination and took on the Buddhist name, Sramanera Jivaka. However, he was initially refused ordination and soon moved on to Ladakh, where he was ordained a novice monk and took the name Lobzang Jivaka. He devoted his time to Buddhism and writing. He published four books on Buddhism, including The Life of Milarepa about the famous 11th century Tibetan yogi. In 1962, his health started to fail, likely related to oral testosterone’s toll on the liver, and he died in hospital in India at age 47.
Pagan Kennedy’s 2007 book, The First Man-Made Man, chronicles Dillon’s life story, including his romance with Roberta Cowell, revealing the struggles of early transsexuals.

October is LGBT History Month. This post on Michael Dillon is taken from Transguys.com by Joshua Riverdale. Read all the stories on A Brief History of FTM Trans Civilisation.

20th Century Transgender Men

These historical profiles of some of the key trans men of the past century highlight their remarkable achievements. Their perseverance in the face of prejudice has earned them a place in the FTM trans history time line.

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15/10/2014

Billy Tipton (December 29, 1914 – January 21, 1989)

Billy Tipton started living as a man at the age of 19, in 1933. Tipton was a well respected jazz musician and entertainer. He worked as a sideman, band leader, comedian, and booking agent. He married five times. The first wife knew of his transgender status but the rest did not.
Tipton died in 1989 and was outed by the coroner, which was widely reported in the media.
Silas Howard is developing a film about Tipton’s life.

October is LGBT History Month. This post on Billy Tipton is taken from Transguys.com by Joshua Riverdale. Read all the stories on A Brief History of FTM Trans Civilisation.

20th Century Transgender Men

These historical profiles of some of the key trans men of the past century highlight their remarkable achievements. Their perseverance in the face of prejudice has earned them a place in the FTM trans history time line.

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14/10/2014

Reed Erickson 1912-1992

Reed Erickson is one of the most important and influential transsexuals of the 20th century. Erickson inherited his father’s fortune in 1962. The following year, he became a patient of Dr. Harry Benjamin and began the process of transition.
In 1964, Erickson launched the Erickson Educational Foundation (EEF), a philanthropic organization funded entirely by Erickson himself. Through the EEF, he laid the foundations for the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association, Paul Walker’s Janus Information Service, Sister Mary Elizabeth’s and Jude Patton’s J2CP, and numerous major trans activist organizations.
Erickson was also an early supporter of alternative health practices, funding what was possibly the first English-language publication on acupuncture, and supporting research into homeopathy.
Erickson lived a successful life and was rumored to be a very colorful individual. He had his demons though and died a drug addict in Mexico as a fugitive from US drug indictments.
For more information about Reed Erickson, see Dr. Aaron Devor’s research:
Devor, H. (2002). “Reed Erickson (1912-1992): How One Transsexed Man Supported ONE.” [PDF] In Vern Bullough (Ed.), Before Stonewall: Activists for Gay and Lesbian Rights in Historical Context (p. 383-392), New York: Haworth.

October is LGBT History Month. This post on Reed Erickson is taken from Transguys.com by Joshua Riverdale. Read all the stories on A Brief History of FTM Trans Civilisation.

20th Century Transgender Men

These historical profiles of some of the key trans men of the past century highlight their remarkable achievements. Their perseverance in the face of prejudice has earned them a place in the FTM trans history time line.

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11/10/2014

To the FTM who wants to do drag

To the FTM who wants to do drag

There are trans man DQs out there; as far as I understand it most keep quiet about being female at birth for the same reason. here’s a blog [http://dairyqueenie.tumblr.com/] of one such guy who had that to say (iirc that was where I read that) and has some other interesting input tbh. also there’s an “#ftm drag queen” tag on Tumblr. it isn’t updated too often I don’t think, but might be of interest anyway. hope looking at those helps some - it definitely is possible.

-ehh
   



10/10/2014

Travelling Pre-T and body checks

Anyone with experience travelling already on T but pre surgery? There are body checks in some countries and how do you deal with it? I had experience it once but as I was pre T i just put my hands in front of my chest hinting the security officer when he nearly touched my chest. But i was pre T then

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Worries about male privilege

I worry If I transition to male as an ftm, I'll be labeled as a "privileged and oppressive male" by people. Even though transmen do benefit from male privilege after they transition, if they had a female identity before, they didn't benefit from male privilege and were just as oppressed as females. More so, we don't have cis privilege. I'm afraid of expressing this idea on tumblr.

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A matter of size

[[[ Trigger Warning : mention of genitalia ]]]




*****************************************************

Wishing in I knew if my dick size was small or normal. :-/

-transman11
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08/10/2014

Dr. Alan Hart (October 4, 1890 – July 1, 1962)

Dr. Alan L. Hart was raised in Oregon. As an adult, he sought out psychiatric counseling and surgery to live his life as a man. Dr. Joshua Gilbert, who assisted Hart with his transition, published Hart’s case in the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disorders in 1920, but kept his patient’s identity a secret.
Hart requested a hysterectomy to eliminate menstruation and the possibility of ever becoming pregnant. This was in 1917 or early 1918, decades before testosterone therapy became available. Dr. Gilbert conceded, marking a major milestone in transsexual history: the first time a psychiatrist recommended the removal of a healthy organ based solely on an individual’s gender identity.
Hart then changed his name and married a woman, and though the relationship ultimately failed, his second marriage lasted 37 years.
Hart published five books, including four novels and a text on his medical specialty, reoentgenology/radiology. He had successful medical practices in Tacoma, Washington and Hartford, Connecticut.
Dr. Hart is perhaps best known as a pioneering epidemiologist. Hart took the Idaho Tuberculosis Hospital’s TB prevention and treatment program from nonexistent during the 1930s to among the best in the country by the time he left Idaho in 1948. Throughout the Great Depression and World War II, Hart traveled extensively through rural Idaho, covering thousands of miles to lecture, conduct mass TB screenings, train new staff and treat patients. He was among the researchers who first recognized the value of X-rays to diagnose TB. Hart’s diagnostic and treatment techniques cut the TB death toll to one-fiftieth of what it was.
After World War II, synthetic testosterone became available, making it possible for Hart to grow a beard and develop a deeper voice.

October is LGBT History Month. This post on Dr Alan Hart is taken from Transguys.com by Joshua Riverdale. Read all the stories on A Brief History of FTM Trans Civilisation.

20th Century Transgender Men

These historical profiles of some of the key trans men of the past century highlight their remarkable achievements. Their perseverance in the face of prejudice has earned them a place in the FTM trans history time line.

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07/10/2014

Jack Bee Garland (December 9, 1869 – September 19, 1936)

Jack Garland was a was an author, soldier, nurse and adventurer.  In 1899, living as Beebe Beam, he joined the United States Army forces to participate in the Philippine War. When the captain of his ship found out his history and would not allow Beam back on the ship, the soldiers gave Beam a uniform and hid him until they were safely away from Hawaii. Beam spent a year in the Philippines and served as a Spanish language interpreter and nurse before returning to the US. After publishing a book about his time in the Philippines, Beam assumed the identity Jack Bee Garland. He devoted his remaining years to social work with various charitable organizations.
Lou Sullivan wrote a detailed biography of Jack Garland that was published in 1990 called From Female To Male: The Life of Jack Bee Garland.

October is LGBT History Month. This post on Jack Bee Garland is taken from Transguys.com by Joshua Riverdale. Read all the stories on A Brief History of FTM Trans Civilisation.

20th Century Transgender Men

These historical profiles of some of the key trans men of the past century highlight their remarkable achievements. Their perseverance in the face of prejudice has earned them a place in the FTM trans history time line.


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Wish I was agender

Sometimes I wish I identified as agender, so at least that way I wouldn't stay up at night wondering why my gender identity matters so much anyway. It's tough to think that as my transition progresses and I continue to love and understand myself more and more, society continues to see me as a threat to the heteronormative system. I wish so bad, that there was at least one small place in the world voice of discrimination and bigotry. I would give everything after transition to go there.


Sick of periods

I've had it with periods... sick of getting dysphoric and depressed every month because of it. Tried searching for medication to end mine, since my lecturer mentioned something like that along the lines, but I couldn't find any that's located in Singapore on the Internet. Would love to know if anyone here has that kind of medication/blockers and where I can find them.

[Ted, Singapore]

02/10/2014

Joseph Lobdell 1829-1912

Born in 1829 to a working-class family in upstate New York, Joseph Lobdell, a skilled marksman, moved to the frontier, married a woman, and bucked 19th-century gender expectations. Joseph was eventually incarcerated in an asylum, locked away from his beloved for insisting he was a man.
In an all too common example of mis-gendering, 20th-century scholars have labeled Lobdell a lesbian, but a recent book incorporating queer theory and Lobdell’s own writings makes the argument that Lobdell was indeed a transgender man. Read an interview with the author of A Strange Sort of Being: The Transgender Life of Lucy Ann/Joseph Israel Lobdell, 1829-1912.


October is LGBT History Month. This post on Joseph Lobdell is taken from Transguys.com by Joshua Riverdale. Read all the stories on A Brief History of FTM Trans Civilisation.

20th Century Transgender Men

These historical profiles of some of the key trans men of the past century highlight their remarkable achievements. Their perseverance in the face of prejudice has earned them a place in the FTM trans history time line.
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01/10/2014

A brief history of trans civilisation

October is LGBT History Month, and at TransGuys.com we’re taking this opportunity to explore some of the vast history of men of trans experience. Learning about those who came before us, it’s hard not to feel great respect for these men, most of whom faced extreme prejudice and risked their lives to be true to themselves.

A Brief History of Trans Civilisation


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Tinder blunder

got matched with this guy on tinder. look through his pictures, find a picture of him posing with the Forgot to Mention props at pink dot. decide to ask him if he's trans.

"what, trans? is that like a tranny?"

wow shit's tough being a gay trans guy. going to go hide in my hole now.
 
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Fitting in with the guys - is it hard?

Does any transguy have a hard time fitting in the masculine world at first? I'm dying to transition but honestly a part of me is scared. My mom keeps saying change is irreversible and that fitting in male society will be hard. I'm confused.

[Rudd, Singapore]


Chased by depression

Everytime I try to be happy, dysphoria hit me hard in the face. I know I need to focus on positivities as there are people going through much harder time. But it's like being chased by depression. It's like we are cursed to be invisible. I don't want to talk to people. I don't want to exist. I am my own enemy.

Matt
Singapore
 

FTM in drag

I feel like I can never do drag because I'm ftm and people will say I'm cheating because I was born female.

[Alexander, Canada]
 

Eager for top surgery

wondering is there any good and cheap top surgeons in singapore? there's few docs, but rarely seen their end results.

 -eager for top surgery

 -

I will never be enough for someone

My long term boyfriend who pushed me to come out and be who I am just dumped me. He told me he couldn’t be attracted to me the way I was and then left. I feel like I will never be enough for someone because I am FTM.

 _

Mum's going to kick me out

I know that if I come out to my mum she's going to kick me out, and yet, I'm still going to. Living like this is hell. I'd rather be a homeless boy than a mentally ill closeted assumed to be female person.
_

27/09/2014

A time before HRT & surgeries

transmanconfessions:

Before all this science and medicine, HRT and surgeries came along, how did trans people in the past deal with this? Did they merely dress up and played the part? How did they deal with body dysphoria?


There are a number of historical accounts of “passing women”[1] [2]. Usually, they are assumed to have cross-lived for some other reason, eg, to make a living in a male profession, join the armed forces, or marry a woman. It’s impossible to know how many of them would have chosen to transition as we understand it, but they elected to live at least parts of their lives as men, under penalty of brutal humiliation at best, if they were discovered. I can’t believe that some of them wouldn’t have identified as FtM and pursued treatment if the option had existed.


The historical accounts only include the ones who were “outed”, or who went back to living as women. I assume there were others who managed to stay under the radar.


Some of it is genetic luck. Here’s a video of author Norah Vincent promoting her 2006 book, “Self-Made Man”, about her year of cross-living without benefit of hormones. She’s 5’10, with a naturally deep voice. I’ve known a few tall, masculine-featured butch women who were consistently read as men by strangers, even though they didn’t want to be.



20 years ago, at the gender center support group, I met a guy in his 60’s who’d been living as a man for 40 years without any medical intervention. He’d managed to get ID with his correct info, back when it was harder for the government to track someone’s identity than it is now. He’d lived with a woman as her husband for decades, and they’d both told her son that he was the father. He lived in a blue-collar suburb, without a community of masculine-looking women for comparison. He was tall and angular, with a cigarette-cured voice. As far as he was concerned, he’d already transitioned on his own. The only reason he was visiting the gender center then was, he wanted to find out how to claim Social Security benefits for himself and his wife.


Musicians Billy Tipton and Willmer Broadnax are two 20th-century DFAB people who lived as men for most of their adult lives, who, as far as I can find out online, never used hormones, although the possibility existed during their lifetimes. Tipton was married to five women over the years, and raised children with at least one. Broadnax began his musical career with his brother, who apparently supported his male identity.


I hadn’t thought about this before, but perhaps a crucial element is having someone else who will vouch for your manhood. Having a third party introduce someone as their husband, brother, etc, and use a male name and pronouns probably went a long way to dispel any gender ambiguity.


I realize, looking back at your question, that you contrast resolving body dysphoria with “dressing up and playing the part”, which I interpret to mean living in the world as a man. I imagine people figured out methods for hiding their breasts and padding their crotches, if they thought they needed to do so to be recognized as men. But the concept of body dysphoria, distinct from gender dysphoria, is something I’ve only recently encountered. I don’t remember it from my own time pre-transition, and I’m having a hard time understanding it as a separate experience.


I don’t know much about the history of MtF transition, but many different cultures have independently come up with social roles for gender-variant DMAB people, so the idea has been out there long before HRT, etc.

- repost from BiggChronos

Losing family



How to make voice sound deeper Pre-T

   
How to make my voice sound more deeper and more natural? Any training tips?
http://youtu.be/oegzhs410f8 No need to use T with this strategy, but it takes commitment to get results. Hope this helps
-Jackson

Sexually frustrating

The first 24-48 hours after a weekly testosterone shot are the most sexually frustrating.

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New Facebook account

I created a completely new facebook account and only added people who already knew I was ftm

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19/09/2014

Continue being feminine?

I have always portrayed myself as a feminine girl, believing that being feminine would make me feel right about my gender. Now that I am coming out as a trans guy, everyone doesn't seem to believe me because I have always been "girl-like". Sometimes I wonder if I should just continue pretending since I have already been doing that all my life.

Partner having a hard time

My partner seemed fine with my changes to begin with and would be really happy to see new changes, but recently she has been having a hard time with it all and I think she is no longer attracted to me. I don't know what to do.

17/09/2014

Scared to death

I am scared to death about starting Testosterone, but I’m also so excited that I can hardly contain myself.

Reclusive

As I grow older, I become a lot more reclusive. I figure that I rather stay in my room and fantasize about what could have been than to face reality of being born female. 

14/09/2014

Survey - Marginalization, Mental Health, and Empowerment Team

Are you a person of trans experience? Let your voice be heard!
If applicable please take the survey and/or please post on your tumblr page!
We are a group of researchers from the Marginalization, Mental Health, and Empowerment Team at Columbia University. Our team is made up of LGBTQ folks and allies. We’re interested in learning more about your experiences with marginalization and empowerment as a trans individual. You will have a 1 in 25 chance to win a $25 amazon gift card!
Click this link or copy/paste into your browser to participate:
http://bitly.com/transCU

mmheteam

Wrong

Sometimes I can't breathe, the crushing thoughts of just 'wrong' repeated over and over. It scares me.

Wrong field

i'm cracking my head to search for a suitable job. i have a degree in science field, but people doesn't seems to be able to accept a trans person in that field, sometimes i just felt i have choosen the wrong field to study.

01/09/2014

Misgendering - Part 2

In response to my original post about not blaming others for misgendering you when you don't pass:

I don't mean people who know about your ftm status and yet refuses to use the right pronouns.

I am talking about ftms who complain when strangers use female pronouns. How would they know better when you still look like a butch??

[Singapore]

28/08/2014

Profoundly disappointing results

I had meta-plus with a highly-regarded, top-dollar surgeon seven years ago. The results are profoundly disappointing. Usually I can ignore it. No one who's not a doctor has paid any attention to that part of my body since 1980 anyway. But when I see "it's a myth that it's not worth it...meta can totally pass in the locker room," etc, it's a crushing weight. You're seeing photos of exceptional results in the sweet spot after the swelling and bruising have gone down, before life sets in.

The doctors are going to show and tell you whatever will make them money. I paid 50K (US) for the shit sandwich. Am I the only one who feels this shame and anger, or are there a lot of other guys, each thinking they're the only one? I suspect that my results (think The Mons Pad That Ate Cincinnati swallowing a naked mole rat) are a lot closer to the norm than the pics shown at Gender Odyssey.

Misgendering

Don't blame someone for misgendering you when you don't pass.

[Singapore]

My hair looks damn weird

Hey guys, 
Im 18.. im a pre-op transwoman, currently two months on estro. Im starting to feel that im entering the 'neither here nor there' part of the gender spectrum, because my hair around shoulder length now, and i recently rebonded and it looks damm weird. 
Even my mom said it. She asked me how am i gonna answer to my relatives when they question my hair. 
Arghh, this is a hard journey...
Have any of you transman has problems like this?

[Singapore]

He was fascinated by my range

When I think back to the time when I began to seriously consider transitioning, I was driven by “gender dysphoria” rather than “sex dysphoria”. The phrase that summed it up in my mind was, “I want to live in the world as a man,” rather than dissatisfaction with particular parts or physical attributes. But my adult female voice was one of the specific gendered things that had just seemed wrong to me for a long time. Whenever I heard a recording, it was “too high,” although it was not high for a female voice. But I was surprised at how much I liked the sound of my post-transition voice after it had settled down. It didn’t go down much; I’m a lyric (high) tenor. But my voice began to sound “right” to me in a way it hadn’t before.

For about six months, some years ago (but well after transition), I took voice lessons from a teacher who had performed for a decade as a baritone with the Bavarian State Opera in Munich. His signature role was the The Dutchman in Wagner’s “The Flying Dutchman”. He favored the ‘stentorian” Wagner sound, as he put it. He was fascinated by my range, which went up to around F6 in vocal exercises, though I think Bb4 was the highest I ever attained in an actual song. I’d see phosphenes (those illusory darting silver lights behind the eyelids) from the pressure in my “mask” required to get as high and as loud as he wanted. He was excited about teaching me the tenor part to “William Tell,” which has 9 C5’s (tenor “high C”). He had no clue that I was trans, and I never told him, though I sometimes felt guilty about it.

I didn’t stay with it, because it was expensive, and I didn’t care enough to  put the work in. I’m not much of an opera fan, anyway. I did it to become a better choral singer. But it pleased me that my voice now had a valuable quality, simply because it was relatively rare.

BC

/in response to http://transmanconfessions.tumblr.com/post/94984347934/i-love-hearing-my-voice-now-when-i-speak-and-sing 

25/08/2014

Kids would ask me if I was a boy or a girl

Even when I went back in the closet for almost a year, grew my hair out to my shoulders, wore make up, and had a bra- kids would ask me if I was a boy or a girl. Their parents would act so shocked that they couldn’t tell. I think they have intuition. Like dogs or something. Almost every kid asked me. I now pass without fail until I speak… But no kid or adult questions me based on appearance and mannerisms.

[Jason]
in response to http://transmanconfessions.tumblr.com/post/94578832020/today-was-just-a-normal-day-at-work-i-work-in

Get a job first and do well

Allow me to share my story….

After i left uni, i aimed to transition at the age of 30 after i have save more than enough for backup. By the age of 29, i had the material things i want…a nice car , condo etc. However, thanks to certain unfortunate circumstances which i will not go into details, i sank into huge debts. I could no longer afford to upkeep my car and condo and even after selling those liabilities off, I was still in debt! I was devastated and was at the lowest point of my life. I did ponder ending my life but i told myself that things happen for a reason. It might be a test of my strength to see if i can handle being a man. It took me 4 years to pay off my debt,thanks to a well paying job. During the 4 debt ridden years in butch wear, andro office wear, i dragged myself to work and told myself i must endure the miserable times for the only way out that time to get out of debt and afford surgery was to stick to my job. The day i paid off my debt,i bought myself a bottle of wine to celebrate the good days in advance and made an appointment with the psychiatrist to start taking hormone. The following month, i tailored a men's suit,bought a few men's shirts and started dressing more manly to work. It was to slowly prepare my colleagues about my change. My boss and ex colleagues are aware of my transition. My boss doesn't give a damn as to him work and personal affairs don't go together. Some colleagues were supportive, some did not mention it and we continued to work together. (I'm not sure if people gossiped behind my back but i don't give a shit). I'm now in another company and only the hr lady who interviewed me know about my past.

I advise u OP, to get a job first and do well. Don't doubt that you can't be employed be it pre or post transition. It's actually easier to transition in your current job where your colleagues and boss already know you than move to a new job while u just started hormones and then attract gossips about a female growing more hair, voice getting deeper.

In order to have the money to transition, you need to think long term.... i.e.have sufficient funds for surgery and savings to tide u over in case you lose your job due to transitioning. In this era, It's highly unlikely as your work performance is more important than how u look. Assuming you really do get the sack or you will be unhappy in your job, at least you have relevant work experience by then.

If you are not able to get a well paying job, just get any jobs you can lay your hands on first. Always set aside money in the "transition funds" no matter how hard it is. Assuming you will not highly paid, when you want to buy something be it for yourself or to impress girls, ask yourself whether you really need it and will spending the $ on the girl gets you laid? Every single penny counts. Always spend your money on beneficial things like healthy food or enrichment stuff.

You have to ask yourself how badly you want to transition. I have to be direct here…fearing that you will not be employed shows that your intention to transition is not strong enough. When there's a will, there's a way! I would say luck plays a small part in my employment. The biggest part is that i believe i will still have a career. If i can't be employed,then i'll start a business. (being an insurance or real estate agent, doing network marketing falls under the category of being self employed too) There are many ways to earn money and worried about being unemployed is not your major concern. What you should be thinking about now is letting your family know about your plan, taking care of your health and saving up for your surgery. At least go for the first surgery so that you can change your ID. Next you can start to save up more to complete the transition.

Good luck and all the best! 

--
[Admin] This was one of the earliest submissions from when this page first started. I thought it deserves a re-post now that we have more followers. It was in response to this post: https://www.facebook.com/TransmanSG/posts/686449851413469?stream_ref=10

x Shay

This is our space

Can I just point out that the frequency of transwomen posts from this blog has been increasing lately? I don’t have a problem with transwomen venting but the dang blog says transman right on the thing this is our space

[Alexander]

22/08/2014

Teenage gay transman

Hey people! I'm a gay teen and I would like to ask if there are actually many transman who are gay? Or are the numbers very minimum?

[Singapore]

16/08/2014

Attending school with preferred name

Hi! I am 16 years old, not on T or had any surgery and I'm going to attend school as male, with both pronouns and name. I sent an email regarding the issue and talked with some teachers and the principal. We agreed on having a meeting before school, but decided it was not necessary recently.

15/08/2014

Who made that rule?

“People changed lots of other personal things all the time. They dyed their hair and dieted themselves to near death. They took steroids to build muscles and got breast implants and nose jobs so they'd resemble their favorite movie stars. They changed names and majors and jobs and husbands and wives. They changed religions and political parties. They moved across the country or the world -- even changed nationalities. Why was gender the one sacred thing we weren’t supposed to change? Who made that rule?”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Parrotfish

Not fitting in anywhere

 I feel like I don’t really fit in with my friends.. I dont feel like i fit in with the guys in the group but i also dont with the girls. it makes me feel lonely. like i dont really belong anywhere. life would be so much easier if i were cis. I wish i was born cis.

Mastectomy in Thailand

What is the estimate cost to do mastectomy in Thailand?
Is a psychiatrist letter mandatory? Last read that it cost USD 5,600 on hospital alone.
That's for Preecha Aesthetic Institute. Any recommendation?

[Singapore]

Pre-everything Malaysian in Singapore

Am a Malaysian, Sg PR.
Pre everything.
It would make more sense to be citizen first before I start any form of transition, yes?
Have been in sg for a decade more. So it's pretty much like home to me. It does affect me to live with all this female anatomy. But to minimise unnecessary paperwork, it seemed like the only way.

Any advice?


[Rae T, Singapore]

11/08/2014

In a bind

Hey Shay! I guess this could go up on Confessions, but in any case I've been thinking so much about the binder giveaway idea.
I've read about In A Bind, and it basically pairs giver to recipient. We could do this too - I think all we need to begin is an excel sheet. The problem is, I think we're going to be really, really short of donors, and would probably have a ridiculously long wait list.
Do we have any information about local supply and demand yet? I wish I could start a thread on this that everyone can see and comment on.
-M

--
Hi M. I read this earlier but didn't hv the time to reply until now. I've not heard of In A Bind - is it a support group / organisation and do they have a website I could refer to (and learn from)?
I personally don't have information on local supply and demand. This is something we could look into by joining forces with some of the local FTM groups.
I'm happy to have you start a thread here on Transman Confessions.
Let's keep this conversation going and do share with me what you have in mind. I'd like to see how far we can go with this idea.
x Shay

p/s:
Here's the page for In A Bind. M had contacted the TransActive Gender Center and they say the project is still fully operational.