Not a princess but a Knight

The first time I really realized that I didn't want to be seen as a girl was back in grade four drama class when we were readying for our year-end production...that year it was The 12 Dancing Princesses. I always dressed in boy clothing, cut my hair as short as my parents let me, was into traditionally masculine things, but it was during this time that I really realized how badly I felt being seen as a girl.

My teacher had assigned me the role as one of the princesses and I asked if I could be a knight instead (because come on, knights are awesome). She told me that all the girls were to play the girls and that the guys would play the guys...that didn't go over well with me. I begged and pleaded, not wanting to be stuck in a dress that would no doubt make me feel uncomfortable and sick...but she didn't listen.

Honestly, I wanted to brush off being trans for so long by hiding behind the label of genderfluid, but it just wasn't right. Now I have to deal with being a strong believer in God that wants to be the man that I believe he intended to be when everyone in my family; nearly everyone I know, says it is sinful and wrong.

You tell me what's sinful here: forcing that little kid to wear that dress; to be forced by society to be a 'proper young lady', or letting that little kid be who they want to be. I'm still that kid...I'm still being forced into that role of a princess when I am a knight...now go on and tell me how being who I am is sinful.

Kalen