i feel like i'm a disgrace :(

guys i need support i feel like something is wrong with me. i feel like a waste of a "girl" i'm nothing anyone wanted or expected me to be. I annoy people because i get frustrated when people don't call me "he" or "mason" because i was born female and as gabby. I hate it. i hate it so much. i hate my voice i hate hearing how feminine i am. I'm worried and i fear this is a phase but i feel like its not but h*ll if i know. I'm a lot happier but i'm making people around me feel awkward 

I'm trying to be tough i'm trying to be a man. i mean if i want to be a man so badly why am i taking this so hard.? I was so pretty and people tell me how i should go back to being girl because of how hot and pretty I was. I wasn't confident as i am now back when i was feminine and when people tell me that it makes me so insecure. I just feel like i'm a disgrace. 

-mason