No Title, Just Confusion

So, before I identified as trans (I came out two years ago when I was away from home and felt safer) I identified as a gold star lesbian. I’ve never once been with a guy, and I’ve never before felt attracted to a guy. But now, I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost two years, and a couple months ago I noticed something. I might like guys now? Like, a very strong maybe? And I know it’s not a bad thing, I’m just confused. How do I tell my girlfriend without her leaving me?

relationships & dysphoria

i’m worried that because i’m. it a cisgendered guy that i won’t find a partner. that other guys or girls won’t like me because i don’t have a penis and i have breasts. lately it’s been making me dysphoric and the past 2 days my dysphoria has just been bad in general. tbh i’m ready to cut my boobs off myself but know that’s stupid and won’t actually do it lmao

What if they're right?

Some days, I just feel like I should pretend to be a girl. I've been told this is a phase..what if they're right? What if makeup, pretending to love my body, and acting like I'd love to be a mother someday will change this? I think about that a lot, I wish I wasn't this way. Some nights I find myself trying to act feminine, just to make my mother happy.

-G

I did horrible things when i was younger

I'm stuck in the wrong body and I have no way of getting out of it. I did horrible things when I was younger... I'd let any boy touch me because I was always told I was supposed to be a girl and one of my friends said, "My older brother says that girls are supposed to let boys touch them like in the videos." (if you didn't catch on, the videos he was talking about were pornographic videos) I thought that letting them do that would turn me into a girl and I'd stop being the disappointment that I am... It didn't help. I thought that changing the way I dressed would help. It didn't. I'm now legally an adult and still stuck in the wrong body because I can't afford to become the man that I am. I'll have to suck it up and be the "tomboy daughter" instead of the "handsome son"... It sucks because I have no one to talk to because no one understands how I feel..

my kik is closet.monster

second guessing

i came out to my mom almost a year ago, and i honestly didn't and still don't know how to take her reaction. she didn't immediately agree(?) with is and just kept asking questions like i was sure. and honestly all that did was make me question myself more. like i know i want to use he/him pronouns, i want to go by my chosen name, i want a flat chest (physically not just binded) and want to present as a boy. she mentioned she would let me get top sugery if i went to therapy for it first, which scares me bc i feel like its more or less going to make myself question and second guess myself more. and i asked if could go on T for just 6 months just to help with my voice dysphoria but she got really like upset? and said no bc she works with a trans man who's been on T for years and "still has the same voice" and she doesn't want me to get permanent results incase i "regret" it. (on a side note with said coworker my mom still misgenders them). i'm only 16 soon to be 17 and i know i just have to wait a few more years before i can take control myself, but i don't feel comfortable doing this while still living at home, but moving out would take a long time, and leaving for college would cost a lot of money. i have really super supportive friends and that's more than what most people have, but my other trans friends have suportive family and it just makes me so jealous seeing them be so open at home. like im still struggling to get my mom to use my chosen name more. and ever since i came out it feels like she purposely emphesizes my "female" pronouns more. some days are just worse than the others and i want these feelings to go away.

Nervous about my future

I'm super scared about my future.

I've been struggling so much with my gender identity, ever since I was 12, actually. Lately, I'm figuring that I may be a very feminine transman, as I enjoy makeup and things considered to be feminine, but I really want to be a man. But the more I think about my future, the more I fear for it. Mainly, I'm moving to a new house, my dads got a girlfriend who has four kids, and they may be moving in with us soon. While my stepmom isn't entirely homophobic/transphobic, my dad is 100% against LGBT. I'm just so scared on how I'll come out to him; will he accept me, or reject me? What will my stepmom and siblings think? I'm just so nervous and scared.

An apple with blue paint

When I told my mom about this "transgender stuff" I didn't expected much but I hoped something would change, that she would try to help, but this change didn't last a week.
I think she wouldn't mind if it was really it but she kinda hope it's not, I also feel like she's holding on to the fact that I paint my nails and like wearing necklaces.
It gets me on the nerves cause it's JUST clothing! I mean, if you paint an apple with blue paint, it's still an apple!
I guess I'm just disapointed, cause I thought I could lean more on her.

never properly admitted

Hey, I've never properly admitted I'm a transman, I've tried to tell my partner and she just has said she can't love me if I am. I just lie and say I'm not. I've sort of told my mum and she was good about it, but asked did I really want to go through all the surgery. I keep feeling worse and worse about the whole thing. I wish I had known when I was younger. I feel I'm too scared to do anything now as I don't want to be rejected and end up with no one.

Relationships

relationships are so hard to maintain for me because I’m so insecure about being trans. I push away any boy or girl that tries to talk to me romantically because I’m afraid if I tell them I’m trans and I love them that they will leave me for it.

Loving myself with her help

My girlfriend Rose always makes me feel good about my body.. sometimes i feel bad that i feel better than usual but.. i love her. She makes me so happy. She helps me feel content with my parts. Hell, she makes me proud of my body. I love her and im really glad that i met her. Shes a gift, and im glad i met her

Shattered

After five years of love and a growing and carefully built relationship and loving together for 3 years, my partner left me in a rush in paragraphs while I was at work- just for the plan to be to run away whenever they felt like jumping ship. Giving up on not only us, our home, but also giving up on me. I feel like my transition is the reason. If not part of the reason. That it’s changed me. That it’s pushed her away. And even if she says it isn’t, there is always that fear. The shittiest part is I have no room to complain. I’ve been on testosterone for a little over 2 years, I’ve got a decent job, my family and friends have been loving and supportive of not only them running away from me but also as I’ve transitioned. I’m still a college student, I’ve got a fat happy cat and a big loving German shepherd. But I’m miserable. It’s been a month and it feel like centuries. I just want to be happy; wake up excited to start a new day, to get support and love from my myself, to figure out what’s best for me and my transitioning. But I don’t know what makes me happy without them. I don’t know what to do without them - food isn’t appealing, cooking bores me, sleep is frequent short panic bursts, nightmares keep me in a horrible mindset, my insomnia has come back in full force, I’m smiling and faking my way through my day when I literally can’t look myself in the mirror. I miss them. I want them to come home. I have put my heart on my sleeve and they don’t even want to try. I just want someone, anyone to talk to. My days are filled with silence. I would love to talk to and get to know other trans kids, non binary, queer, cis, whatever. I just don’t do well on my own and I can’t handle having nobody as a friend in my life. They were my everything and it’s gone. /endrant

Struggling with demons

I am FTM trans, 27, pre-everything, and I've been struggling with my own demons for 2 years since I came out to a few people. The thing is, reactions of them are supportive because they are friends, I live as a man since then, I totally like it and I can say I started to be happy for the first time in my life and I am pretty successfull to pass as a guy, which makes me quite comfortable with myself for the first time. BUT I dont have a courage to take another step for transition. I live in a very conservative catholic country, there are problems with it in society and doctors and moreover after transition I would live openly as gay with my boyfriend (which is our common nightmare, but he supports me anyway) - now I have female name and nobody can say a word even though I look as a boy. I am not able to overcome fear of what would happen in the worst scenarios. I would be treated badly at university and work, bullied, laughed at, family would turn its back on me or they would treat me with contempt. And there will be no undo. Detransition is the most humiliating thing I can imagine. I am afraid I won't be able to fulfill demands and expectations as a man. I know maybe anything of that would never happen, but I am chased by guilt, confusing thoughts, fear and anxiety.
If there's anybody who would like to talk about it, I'll be glad, I'm leaving my contact
thx (EU)

Too self-conscious to make friends

My partner and I haven't been sexually intimate for a while but I've been very interested in hooking up with other people, especially because they have successfully formed intimate relationships with other people (we're poly). But whenever I imagine a scenario in which I'm meeting new people and getting to know them, I get too anxious wondering if I'll have to keep meeting people who don't understand my body and presentation as a trans man and don't respect my identity, and what if they think my stretch marks are gross or my shape is weird? What if my body hair confuses them? What if I'm not interesting? I'm lonely but I feel like I'm too self conscious to make friends.(USA)

How to ask this boy out?

I'm thinking about asking a boy out soon, but I'm scared of what he'll think of me being trans. I'm not out to anyone at school and I don't want to be out yet, and because of that I know he sees me as a girl. And he's said before that he's not gay, which sort of still gives me a chance (since he thinks I'm a girl) but I'm scared that would he would not take the 'im a trans boy' news too well. I don't want coming out to him to mean he starts looking at me different. I know that if I came out well into our relationship he'd probably accept me but it still scares me. (Canada) 

Mom says I ruined everything

After I came out, my mom sobbed and told me I had ruined everything she had worked for. She scared me so badly in terms of the stuff she said that I told her I'd change back (as if it were possible) but obviously I didn't, I only pretended to. I dont know if I can bring myself to move out once I graduate or turn 18. I feel like my mother really wants to keep me with her to make sure I dont "screw up" again but I can't live here AND transition. Everyone tells me to forget about her but she's my mom.

Please don't settle

Coming out while in a relationship is wildly difficult for your partner but you don’t have to settle for a long term crappy reaction. My boyfriend identified as straight before I came out. Now he identifies as bisexual (although i sometimes i feel almost guilty that he changed his identity for me) and he doesnt take anyones shit about ‘oooh but he has a vagina so are you really gay¿?’ My point is, there are so many great people who will accept and love you and wont let labels of the sexuality be an issue between you so If you feel like your partner isnt respecting your identity with their sexual label, it isnt the worst thing in the world to confront them about it.

i hate myself

I hate myself. I hate myself for being born female. I hate myself for being trans. I hate myself bcs the way I am has ruined my relationship & I'm too dependent on her to do anything about it. I love her and keep hoping things will go back to normal

Family supports transgenders but not me

My family supports transgenders, but not their own son/brother/nephew

They almost make me everyday to think about suicide and my therapist can’t help me because I can’t find an apartment for my own…

Lost

I have no idea how to have sex with a woman and be comfortable. I don't want to have "lesbian sex" and I don't want to rely on toys. But I also don't want to alter my genitalia. I am so lost.

Mood: Ecstatic

So I just got a facebook message from my brother saying “Don’t ever doubt that I support you” and it was really sweet because I haven’t really talked to him about my transition. Yeah it made me happy and I wanted to share it. :3