i think i'm bi

I’m afraid to tell my fiance that I think I’m bi, and I want to have a threesome with another ftm or cisgender male. She’s already had fears that I might turn out gay, but I love having sex with her. I just think some guys are so sexy.

Clothes, binders and sexual misfortune.

Confession: Some days I feel so pretty I want to wear a cute skirt and crop Top yet still wear a binder. I still am a boy even though I like “girly” clothing it’s just the general public says I can’t be a boy when I want to sometimes wear cute or sexy ‘girly’ clothing.

Binders: I’ve had this crappy cheap loose side clasped binder for about a year now and I’m finally waiting patiently for a new binder in the mail from gc2b should arrive in 3 or so weeks~❤

Misfortune: I don’t know my sexuality 100% but I’m generally mostly attractive to men and I’ve had sex with my *hoo-ha* but I’ve always wanted to try anal but recently I had to have an iliostomy (close to 3months ago) and got my whole colon removed so it may be dangerous for me to have anal with my lover so I’ve just got to accept that. I also have an issue with people calling me a girl because I like having sex with my born genetals and do not plan to get bottom surgery. :/

Loving myself with her help

My girlfriend Rose always makes me feel good about my body.. sometimes i feel bad that i feel better than usual but.. i love her. She makes me so happy. She helps me feel content with my parts. Hell, she makes me proud of my body. I love her and im really glad that i met her. Shes a gift, and im glad i met her

Shattered

After five years of love and a growing and carefully built relationship and loving together for 3 years, my partner left me in a rush in paragraphs while I was at work- just for the plan to be to run away whenever they felt like jumping ship. Giving up on not only us, our home, but also giving up on me. I feel like my transition is the reason. If not part of the reason. That it’s changed me. That it’s pushed her away. And even if she says it isn’t, there is always that fear. The shittiest part is I have no room to complain. I’ve been on testosterone for a little over 2 years, I’ve got a decent job, my family and friends have been loving and supportive of not only them running away from me but also as I’ve transitioned. I’m still a college student, I’ve got a fat happy cat and a big loving German shepherd. But I’m miserable. It’s been a month and it feel like centuries. I just want to be happy; wake up excited to start a new day, to get support and love from my myself, to figure out what’s best for me and my transitioning. But I don’t know what makes me happy without them. I don’t know what to do without them - food isn’t appealing, cooking bores me, sleep is frequent short panic bursts, nightmares keep me in a horrible mindset, my insomnia has come back in full force, I’m smiling and faking my way through my day when I literally can’t look myself in the mirror. I miss them. I want them to come home. I have put my heart on my sleeve and they don’t even want to try. I just want someone, anyone to talk to. My days are filled with silence. I would love to talk to and get to know other trans kids, non binary, queer, cis, whatever. I just don’t do well on my own and I can’t handle having nobody as a friend in my life. They were my everything and it’s gone. /endrant

Losing hope

i'm losing hope. i came out, and while my friends have been supportive to their abilities, i lost my partner over it. i live in a small town, and my family is not very supportive, so i'm constantly being misgendered in public, by my friends, and at home. my mental illnesses have been so debilitating that i'm not in school and i haven't been able hold a job. i don't have any interests that motivate me for the future, there's nothing i want to do except run away. all i can think about is how complicated it is being trans to protect yourself legally, like switching your gender markers, changing your name, etc, and how it's going to take a long time before i could start T, and even longer trapped wearing a binder... i never wanted any of this. i didn't ask for this. i don't want this. i don't want to be alive anymore, and i don't know what to do.

USA 

My future wife supports me but not my family

And I’m tired of it. They always misgender me but not her, and I’m glad she loves me who for I truly am. Some times, I just want to move in with her so I can leave my Transphobic family behind.

Wishful thinking

I’m a transman and I really wish my trans girlfriend would give me head at anytime and not only right after I’ve showered :/

Attracted to FTMs

I am a femme at heart. I have always been attracted to FTMs. I hope to have a family with him.

Tomboy Sha. (Singapore)

Demi-Homoromantic Gray-asexual or demiromantic Homosexual... who can't stand vaginas

So... I'm a gay transboy and if you ask, I've identified as such since the third grade. My sexuality however... was always confusing to me. I knew I liked boys but for most of my years I couldn't accept it because I was taught that I wouldn't be a real transboy if I still found attraction to other boys. It wasn't until the last year of middle school that I found that it was okay. That I was not the only trans gay boy. So I was content for a while. That is... until a friend of mine who also happens to be trans confessed to me. I harbored no feelings for him so I said no, feeling guilt but also knowing I did the right thing. Yet... The thought of dating another trans guy was new to me, something I never thought about before.
Also to clarify, I sort of clash between Demi-Homoromantic Gray-asexual or demiromantic Homosexual... I just can't really identify as one just yet.
Anyways... a few years after that I may have requited his feelings (may bc tbh I still don't know if it was out of pity or me trying to believe I loved him). And everything was great except he was... more sexual than I thought.
I'm still a virgin, so you know how that went, but when we tried...
I felt... sick? And I feel so horrible that I did because it wasn't the intimacy that disgusted me it was because... I just can't stand vaginas...
There. Thats what this confession is about.

And I feel so bad.
Because I'm okay with the thought of dating transguys because their guys... but if it were to become sexual I.
Just can't do it.
I remember those videos they'd show you when they taught puberty and I'd feel the same sick revolting feeling looking at the video to any vagina.
Thats why Im not sure how to identify myself.
Cause I know I'm not totally asexual, but if I were to label myself as gay yet can not feel sexually attracted to a trans guy (who did not undergo bottom surgery) than... how is that fair?
I'm at least 80% sure Its because I can't stand my own nether regions but I feel like that's a shit excuse.
Yet no matter how I try... if i just LOOK at a vagina I feel like gagging? That may seem as an exaggeration but I assure you that its far from it.

I don't want to make it seem as I look at Transpeople (or any other persons) as walking genitalia because I don't. I know that I am 100% alright with dating any guy cis or trans. But if we were to be sexual... I would never pull through much less start with a transboy.
And before you ask, "what about transgirls?" I'll be clear now that I do not find girls sexually or romantically appealing no matter the genitalia.

It just... bothers me so much you know? Seeing posts about how people should accept the genitalia of a transperson makes me go "Hell yeah! Make us feel valid!" But then make me shortly realize... I'm a hypocrite. And I just wish I wasn't.
That I could have sexual relations with a boy cis OR trans.

I also found that being 'penis-repulsed' and 'vagina-repulsed' being a real thing. So this is where the Demi-homoromatic gray asexual came from. Because with finding that those two terms were real that only asexuals can label themselves as such. Yet... calling myself a vagina-repulsed Demi-homoromantic gray asexual seemed kind of... dehumanizing to transboys. Like? An out for someone to be "transphobic". And when I realized that, I once again felt disgust for myself.

Someone please answer me. Tell me how I can fix this because I've done all I can. I can't keep trying to fit myself into a category to only make me feel worse. But I don't want to hurt or offend others too.

Or if maybe... that it's okay?
Fuck, I really don't know how to word this properly but-
Tell me if its okay to label myself as just a (demiromantic) trans GAY boy who just had no sexual attraction to those who own vaginas

I want to get brainwashed and forget everything

I regret I ever told anyone! I have never felt so humiliated! My boyfriend was pretending the whole time that he supports me and want me to be happy and after a year he got drunk and said he doesnt want me to go to transition. It was when I had already came out our friends, my family and his family (who by the way condemned me and his father doesnt want me to work for him anymore if undergo transition). I dont know how to live with him anymore and I cannot leave hime either, its not so easy. I cannot shift back to woman like he had known me before because a lot of things changed. I want to get brainwashed and forget about everything. I hate this life so much. I want undo. I want to return to time before comingout and live that shitty repressed - but relatively balanced - life before I came out. Now I got mess in my head, people look strangely at me, I became freak for them and I dont see the way out - in regards to my inner attitude. Tell me how to undo in my head? (Eastern Europe)

Teen mind stuck on having kids

I'm transmasc, but nonbinary. I'm also pre-everything for now. Anyway, it seems like sometimes my mindgets stuck on having kids, like actually giving birth to them,names,what they would look like depending on which of my DFs is the other parent. I feel so bad and it makes me feel less masculine. I'm only 16,why does this happen? I really shouldn't be having these thoughts, I'm not even out of high school

Struggling with demons

I am FTM trans, 27, pre-everything, and I've been struggling with my own demons for 2 years since I came out to a few people. The thing is, reactions of them are supportive because they are friends, I live as a man since then, I totally like it and I can say I started to be happy for the first time in my life and I am pretty successfull to pass as a guy, which makes me quite comfortable with myself for the first time. BUT I dont have a courage to take another step for transition. I live in a very conservative catholic country, there are problems with it in society and doctors and moreover after transition I would live openly as gay with my boyfriend (which is our common nightmare, but he supports me anyway) - now I have female name and nobody can say a word even though I look as a boy. I am not able to overcome fear of what would happen in the worst scenarios. I would be treated badly at university and work, bullied, laughed at, family would turn its back on me or they would treat me with contempt. And there will be no undo. Detransition is the most humiliating thing I can imagine. I am afraid I won't be able to fulfill demands and expectations as a man. I know maybe anything of that would never happen, but I am chased by guilt, confusing thoughts, fear and anxiety.
If there's anybody who would like to talk about it, I'll be glad, I'm leaving my contact
thx (EU)

Too self-conscious to make friends

My partner and I haven't been sexually intimate for a while but I've been very interested in hooking up with other people, especially because they have successfully formed intimate relationships with other people (we're poly). But whenever I imagine a scenario in which I'm meeting new people and getting to know them, I get too anxious wondering if I'll have to keep meeting people who don't understand my body and presentation as a trans man and don't respect my identity, and what if they think my stretch marks are gross or my shape is weird? What if my body hair confuses them? What if I'm not interesting? I'm lonely but I feel like I'm too self conscious to make friends.(USA)

Wish I could see the happy ever after

I wish I could see the happy ever after me and my transmasculine genderqueer partner but, the truth is, I am terrified. I can't imagine us having a family without thinking about my fertility options (pretty much limited to a non-related sperm donor based on conversations with my partner) if I want to have a biological baby of my own (which I do). I can't imagine a future where my partner has transitioned so far along (currently at 5 months) that they're not recognisably trans* any more and we're viewed as a heterosexual couple by strangers. I can't imagine whether top surgery will fix my partner's world or whether dysphoria will claim other parts of their body and we will have more years of wait times and appointments and surgery and recovery. I can't imagine a future in which all of this has happened to us and my partner has got to such a good point in their life that they've been able to focus on themself and their career goals and their dreams and we've started to build a world we're both proud of. The constantly changing flow of transition feels like everything is fluid and temporary, and what if I am too? What if we don't make it? I love them more than anything in the world right now and I can't bear the fact that there's no guarantees with any of this and so much is unknown.

Please don't settle

Coming out while in a relationship is wildly difficult for your partner but you don’t have to settle for a long term crappy reaction. My boyfriend identified as straight before I came out. Now he identifies as bisexual (although i sometimes i feel almost guilty that he changed his identity for me) and he doesnt take anyones shit about ‘oooh but he has a vagina so are you really gay¿?’ My point is, there are so many great people who will accept and love you and wont let labels of the sexuality be an issue between you so If you feel like your partner isnt respecting your identity with their sexual label, it isnt the worst thing in the world to confront them about it.

i hate myself

I hate myself. I hate myself for being born female. I hate myself for being trans. I hate myself bcs the way I am has ruined my relationship & I'm too dependent on her to do anything about it. I love her and keep hoping things will go back to normal

Lost

I have no idea how to have sex with a woman and be comfortable. I don't want to have "lesbian sex" and I don't want to rely on toys. But I also don't want to alter my genitalia. I am so lost.

:(

My partner claims to be supportive of my transition, but ever since I started this journey she hardly ever touches me and sex is very rare. It was never like this before. What do I do?

My girlfriend

My girlfriend is the best thing that's ever happened to me she always makes me feel like the manliest man in the world. She's the only person that fully respects who I am. without her I probably would of gone insane.

my fav person is trans?

my date and i have been together since february and only right fucking now i discovered about her/his confusion about gender identity, and i just feel like a terrible person ‘cause i dont know how to help. i dont know what to do to make my person feel better. or if i should talk about it. i dont fucking know what to do to help, but god, my favorite person needs me and i’m a mess with that stuff.