need help

I recently made the connection that I am, indeed, a trans boy. I have looked online for binders and stuff, but then I realized that if I get a chest binder I will most likely have to come out to my mom and she constantly reminds me that I’m a girl more than once a day. If I get a binder, she will definitely notice, like “hey where’d your boobs go?” so I guess I could only bind for like one day a week. I could also say that the normal chest binders are like sports bras or something. I just need help with this badly, I can’t even imagine coming out to my mom.

never properly admitted

Hey, I've never properly admitted I'm a transman, I've tried to tell my partner and she just has said she can't love me if I am. I just lie and say I'm not. I've sort of told my mum and she was good about it, but asked did I really want to go through all the surgery. I keep feeling worse and worse about the whole thing. I wish I had known when I was younger. I feel I'm too scared to do anything now as I don't want to be rejected and end up with no one.

Relationships

relationships are so hard to maintain for me because I’m so insecure about being trans. I push away any boy or girl that tries to talk to me romantically because I’m afraid if I tell them I’m trans and I love them that they will leave me for it.

Closeted transition

I’m starting T this week, but I’m not out to my friends and family. I don’t think I have the courage to come out. I’m so fucked.

My dad is a twat

I came out to my parents at a gloat(asatru thing) and when we for in the car to to home they said they ‘understood’ and baisically said that i was a lesbian. Not fucking true. Later my dad used my fear against me and made me say that I was following a stupid trend, but I’m not. Now he constantly refers to me as his 'little girl’ but my mom had occasionally called me a he and gotten me mens shoes and clothes. I am NEVER going to trust my dad ever again. My mom will be getting the respect age deserved. My dads stupid actions along with the teasing throughout my life, which had caused significant psychological damage THANK YOU VERY MUCH YOU TWAT, will NEVER allow him to earn my trust ever again. He needs to accept the part of me that he never knew he had, instead of clinging on to the mask I wore to hide my pain before I realized that I was a man.

I'm scared

I’ve come out of the closet to my parents and some others, but I’m scared that I’m “not trans enough” just because I like to wear dresses some days. I’m scared of starting T, because it’s something I want, but i don’t know what people will think, or if I’ll regret the decision in a couple years.

I’m scared.

Awkard Presentation

I came out to my parents as a transgender man, and they didn’t really believe me. I thought it wouldn’t bother as much. It doesn’t, but I find myself feeling awkward when I want to present myself in masculine clothes, let alone wear my binder around them. Even when I went home for Spring Break this past week and I had just trimmed my hair, my parents had a problem with it. I just thought they would be a little more lenient on how I dress my body. They still see me as their daughter and nothing is going to change that. To them, I was born a “girl” and that’s what “God” wants me to be. Sorry, parents. I don’t believe in your God. Never did.

Pronoun angst

Ok so I have an issue. It's common that transmales hate being called ladies or whatever the hell. But someone said to me "Ladies First" and I almost freaking lost it. Especially since I had to deal being called by my birth name as well. Ugh. I know they had good intentions because I am not out but how do I suppress my urge to scream "I AM NOT A FUCKING GIRL" whenever called one????

Also. Someone outted me on purpose because I came out to them and made a huge mistake since they are SUPER conservative. And because I told them to call me he and then someone called me "she" (ugh) she screamed loudly "WHY DO THEY GET TO CALL YOU SHE IT ISNT FAIR. WHY DO I HAVE TO CALL YOU HE" I looked her dead in the eye and misgendered and misnamed her. Idk if it was the right way to go, but idk I just lose control when faced with transphobia... I'm scared to come out to anyone now. Thoughts??

just came out to my Dad

I just came out to my dad and I didn't think that he would be accepting and he was so I thought I would share it to let people know that things don't always go bad

Any advice for coming out?

I am still in the closet and i’m scared of coming out. So far… The only one who knows who I am going to come out about it is my best friend and my little brother… My friend is really supportive of me but my brother absolutely refuses to even register me being trans and insists that I’m his older sister and that’s who I am now so that’s who ill always be….. Any advice for coming out…?

Trapped

I never want to go out. I just turned 18, and I'm pre-everything. Pre-t, pre transition, pre-coming out. I don't have many friends, and I'm currently unemployed. My sister always invites me out to socialize, but I usually turn her down. I'm miserable but I don't want to do anything. My family hasn't really noticed anything's wrong, I'm pretty good at hiding it. But I'm miserable. I keep telling myself I'll come out soon, I'll do it soon, any day now, I just have to sit down and write a letter to my parents, really soon. But I haven't. The idea of meeting people scares me, because I know that adding more people to my circle just means that's more people I'll have to come out to later. I feel trapped.

I want to get brainwashed and forget everything

I regret I ever told anyone! I have never felt so humiliated! My boyfriend was pretending the whole time that he supports me and want me to be happy and after a year he got drunk and said he doesnt want me to go to transition. It was when I had already came out our friends, my family and his family (who by the way condemned me and his father doesnt want me to work for him anymore if undergo transition). I dont know how to live with him anymore and I cannot leave hime either, its not so easy. I cannot shift back to woman like he had known me before because a lot of things changed. I want to get brainwashed and forget about everything. I hate this life so much. I want undo. I want to return to time before comingout and live that shitty repressed - but relatively balanced - life before I came out. Now I got mess in my head, people look strangely at me, I became freak for them and I dont see the way out - in regards to my inner attitude. Tell me how to undo in my head? (Eastern Europe)

Struggling with demons

I am FTM trans, 27, pre-everything, and I've been struggling with my own demons for 2 years since I came out to a few people. The thing is, reactions of them are supportive because they are friends, I live as a man since then, I totally like it and I can say I started to be happy for the first time in my life and I am pretty successfull to pass as a guy, which makes me quite comfortable with myself for the first time. BUT I dont have a courage to take another step for transition. I live in a very conservative catholic country, there are problems with it in society and doctors and moreover after transition I would live openly as gay with my boyfriend (which is our common nightmare, but he supports me anyway) - now I have female name and nobody can say a word even though I look as a boy. I am not able to overcome fear of what would happen in the worst scenarios. I would be treated badly at university and work, bullied, laughed at, family would turn its back on me or they would treat me with contempt. And there will be no undo. Detransition is the most humiliating thing I can imagine. I am afraid I won't be able to fulfill demands and expectations as a man. I know maybe anything of that would never happen, but I am chased by guilt, confusing thoughts, fear and anxiety.
If there's anybody who would like to talk about it, I'll be glad, I'm leaving my contact
thx (EU)

How to ask this boy out?

I'm thinking about asking a boy out soon, but I'm scared of what he'll think of me being trans. I'm not out to anyone at school and I don't want to be out yet, and because of that I know he sees me as a girl. And he's said before that he's not gay, which sort of still gives me a chance (since he thinks I'm a girl) but I'm scared that would he would not take the 'im a trans boy' news too well. I don't want coming out to him to mean he starts looking at me different. I know that if I came out well into our relationship he'd probably accept me but it still scares me. (Canada) 

I'm afraid that I'm not really trans

I'm really afraid that I'm not really trans- that i went through this whole pain and experience for nothing. I'm scared that maybe I really was influenced to be this way just like my parents said.
But another part says that thats not even possible and that I really am a transguy and that this whole "you were influenced" argument was my parent's excuse because they didnt wanna acknowledge that i really was. 

Mom says I ruined everything

After I came out, my mom sobbed and told me I had ruined everything she had worked for. She scared me so badly in terms of the stuff she said that I told her I'd change back (as if it were possible) but obviously I didn't, I only pretended to. I dont know if I can bring myself to move out once I graduate or turn 18. I feel like my mother really wants to keep me with her to make sure I dont "screw up" again but I can't live here AND transition. Everyone tells me to forget about her but she's my mom.

Mood: Ecstatic

So I just got a facebook message from my brother saying “Don’t ever doubt that I support you” and it was really sweet because I haven’t really talked to him about my transition. Yeah it made me happy and I wanted to share it. :3

Dad changed his mind

My dad said he supported me last week and yesterday asked that no one call me he or my chosen name in front of him. Its too hard on him. I want to run away, he was the last person in my family I thought would do this to me. Now I am lost.

"Supportive"

I’ve recently come out to my parents as trans, and they believe it is a phase. But, they did say they would be supportive. I asked if they could call me by the name I prefer and use he/him pronouns but they absolutely refuse. How are you being supportive if you don’t try to help me be as comfortable as possible? Sometimes I wish I didn’t come out. Then it wouldn’t hurt as much.

Easy way "out"

I sometimes wish I was accidentally outed to my parents (who likely wouldn't believe it, but wouldn't hate me).