How to go about that

What the fuck. Maybe because I'm faded but. FTM here I think but then I want to get fit and fuck a girl with my d but want a guy to fuck my pussy. Uhm not sure how to go about that

Pronoun angst

Ok so I have an issue. It's common that transmales hate being called ladies or whatever the hell. But someone said to me "Ladies First" and I almost freaking lost it. Especially since I had to deal being called by my birth name as well. Ugh. I know they had good intentions because I am not out but how do I suppress my urge to scream "I AM NOT A FUCKING GIRL" whenever called one????

Also. Someone outted me on purpose because I came out to them and made a huge mistake since they are SUPER conservative. And because I told them to call me he and then someone called me "she" (ugh) she screamed loudly "WHY DO THEY GET TO CALL YOU SHE IT ISNT FAIR. WHY DO I HAVE TO CALL YOU HE" I looked her dead in the eye and misgendered and misnamed her. Idk if it was the right way to go, but idk I just lose control when faced with transphobia... I'm scared to come out to anyone now. Thoughts??

Boys can have feelings too

My mum loves uber flamboyant famous males but I can’t be kinda feminine. I’m sensitive and emotional and feminine. Like I’m literally the same person I always was. Just different pronouns. People just expected me to become an emotionless drone or something. I have feelings. A lot of them. And v little control over my emotions right now bc of the hormones I’m on. It’s really annoying and wish it would stop.

Demi-Homoromantic Gray-asexual or demiromantic Homosexual... who can't stand vaginas

So... I'm a gay transboy and if you ask, I've identified as such since the third grade. My sexuality however... was always confusing to me. I knew I liked boys but for most of my years I couldn't accept it because I was taught that I wouldn't be a real transboy if I still found attraction to other boys. It wasn't until the last year of middle school that I found that it was okay. That I was not the only trans gay boy. So I was content for a while. That is... until a friend of mine who also happens to be trans confessed to me. I harbored no feelings for him so I said no, feeling guilt but also knowing I did the right thing. Yet... The thought of dating another trans guy was new to me, something I never thought about before.
Also to clarify, I sort of clash between Demi-Homoromantic Gray-asexual or demiromantic Homosexual... I just can't really identify as one just yet.
Anyways... a few years after that I may have requited his feelings (may bc tbh I still don't know if it was out of pity or me trying to believe I loved him). And everything was great except he was... more sexual than I thought.
I'm still a virgin, so you know how that went, but when we tried...
I felt... sick? And I feel so horrible that I did because it wasn't the intimacy that disgusted me it was because... I just can't stand vaginas...
There. Thats what this confession is about.

And I feel so bad.
Because I'm okay with the thought of dating transguys because their guys... but if it were to become sexual I.
Just can't do it.
I remember those videos they'd show you when they taught puberty and I'd feel the same sick revolting feeling looking at the video to any vagina.
Thats why Im not sure how to identify myself.
Cause I know I'm not totally asexual, but if I were to label myself as gay yet can not feel sexually attracted to a trans guy (who did not undergo bottom surgery) than... how is that fair?
I'm at least 80% sure Its because I can't stand my own nether regions but I feel like that's a shit excuse.
Yet no matter how I try... if i just LOOK at a vagina I feel like gagging? That may seem as an exaggeration but I assure you that its far from it.

I don't want to make it seem as I look at Transpeople (or any other persons) as walking genitalia because I don't. I know that I am 100% alright with dating any guy cis or trans. But if we were to be sexual... I would never pull through much less start with a transboy.
And before you ask, "what about transgirls?" I'll be clear now that I do not find girls sexually or romantically appealing no matter the genitalia.

It just... bothers me so much you know? Seeing posts about how people should accept the genitalia of a transperson makes me go "Hell yeah! Make us feel valid!" But then make me shortly realize... I'm a hypocrite. And I just wish I wasn't.
That I could have sexual relations with a boy cis OR trans.

I also found that being 'penis-repulsed' and 'vagina-repulsed' being a real thing. So this is where the Demi-homoromatic gray asexual came from. Because with finding that those two terms were real that only asexuals can label themselves as such. Yet... calling myself a vagina-repulsed Demi-homoromantic gray asexual seemed kind of... dehumanizing to transboys. Like? An out for someone to be "transphobic". And when I realized that, I once again felt disgust for myself.

Someone please answer me. Tell me how I can fix this because I've done all I can. I can't keep trying to fit myself into a category to only make me feel worse. But I don't want to hurt or offend others too.

Or if maybe... that it's okay?
Fuck, I really don't know how to word this properly but-
Tell me if its okay to label myself as just a (demiromantic) trans GAY boy who just had no sexual attraction to those who own vaginas

I want to get brainwashed and forget everything

I regret I ever told anyone! I have never felt so humiliated! My boyfriend was pretending the whole time that he supports me and want me to be happy and after a year he got drunk and said he doesnt want me to go to transition. It was when I had already came out our friends, my family and his family (who by the way condemned me and his father doesnt want me to work for him anymore if undergo transition). I dont know how to live with him anymore and I cannot leave hime either, its not so easy. I cannot shift back to woman like he had known me before because a lot of things changed. I want to get brainwashed and forget about everything. I hate this life so much. I want undo. I want to return to time before comingout and live that shitty repressed - but relatively balanced - life before I came out. Now I got mess in my head, people look strangely at me, I became freak for them and I dont see the way out - in regards to my inner attitude. Tell me how to undo in my head? (Eastern Europe)

Teen mind stuck on having kids

I'm transmasc, but nonbinary. I'm also pre-everything for now. Anyway, it seems like sometimes my mindgets stuck on having kids, like actually giving birth to them,names,what they would look like depending on which of my DFs is the other parent. I feel so bad and it makes me feel less masculine. I'm only 16,why does this happen? I really shouldn't be having these thoughts, I'm not even out of high school

Am I a fraud?

Am I really a fraud if I am more of a home-orientated, wanting be a "mommy", okay with my chest and love to dress sexy in a feminine way? (Singapore)

How to ask this boy out?

I'm thinking about asking a boy out soon, but I'm scared of what he'll think of me being trans. I'm not out to anyone at school and I don't want to be out yet, and because of that I know he sees me as a girl. And he's said before that he's not gay, which sort of still gives me a chance (since he thinks I'm a girl) but I'm scared that would he would not take the 'im a trans boy' news too well. I don't want coming out to him to mean he starts looking at me different. I know that if I came out well into our relationship he'd probably accept me but it still scares me. (Canada) 

I'm a "bad transsexual"

Non-dysphoria dysphoria

I'm a very feminine FTM to the point where I am scared of transitioning. I find my body beautiful, i'm afraid that transitioning to a more masculine body will make me ugly. But my assigned gender is so wrong to me, being called a girl or a woman makes me feel disgusting. I hate my breasts and my vagina, but I love looking feminine and pretty. To top it all off, i'm gay and I know 99.99% of cis gay men won't even consider me/ think i'm a liar / think i'm a "fag hag"
My mostly non body dysphoria and homosexuality makes me feel like i'm a "bad transexual" who will always be alone.  

Everyone says my name is ugly

I really like my newly picked out name but when I hinted at the name everyone told me it was ugly and now I'm kinda scared to tell people to call me this name instead of my old one. 

Wish I could see the happy ever after

I wish I could see the happy ever after me and my transmasculine genderqueer partner but, the truth is, I am terrified. I can't imagine us having a family without thinking about my fertility options (pretty much limited to a non-related sperm donor based on conversations with my partner) if I want to have a biological baby of my own (which I do). I can't imagine a future where my partner has transitioned so far along (currently at 5 months) that they're not recognisably trans* any more and we're viewed as a heterosexual couple by strangers. I can't imagine whether top surgery will fix my partner's world or whether dysphoria will claim other parts of their body and we will have more years of wait times and appointments and surgery and recovery. I can't imagine a future in which all of this has happened to us and my partner has got to such a good point in their life that they've been able to focus on themself and their career goals and their dreams and we've started to build a world we're both proud of. The constantly changing flow of transition feels like everything is fluid and temporary, and what if I am too? What if we don't make it? I love them more than anything in the world right now and I can't bear the fact that there's no guarantees with any of this and so much is unknown.

Fascinated with ladyboys

i am having fascination on lady boys. keep having lucid dreams bout them. argghhh... it's killing me. I identify as straight transman. Wondering is this normal?

"You got called Sir!"

So, I work at McDonald's, and get misgendered a lot, though it's only by the customers, but my coworkers are cool af. Anyway I do a lot of presenting (basically calling out numbers and giving food) so I have a lot of people contact. And the other day, I saw a trans dude, and I made sure to call him 'Sir' after I gave him his food, and he walked away with the biggest smile and his friend elbowed him and was like "You got called Sir! See?" So that was cool, because I could make someone happy

I'm ready to be free

Finally asking people to refer to me with male pronouns. Only took 22 years. But I didn't have anyone to talk to about this until now. Glad I'm able to start truly expressing myself and being happy with knowing who I am.

Too macho

I can't relate to other transmen. They have too much of a connection with being female. I gave always and will always be 100% male. And even then I'm too macho for the trans community.

intersex?

I’m not sure if this is how I should send these in… But here is my confession…
I feel like something is wrong with me. I just want to be normal. Sometimes I wish I could just go back to being a girl and everything would be better. I know it wouldn’t. The worst part is I identify as a trans male but I feel that I should have been born intersex. I don’t feel bigender, that doesn’t fit me. I feel like if I found out I was born intersex then everything would make sense.

— drakeb137

Why be a feminine transman?

Super feminine trans men make me really uncomfortable. I know that gender expression is not dictated by identity and I really want to be supportive of people wearing what they want, but trans men already get enough shit about just being "tomboys" or "girls dressing like guys," and when I see someone all decked out in makeup and a dress and heels and acting all cutesy and feminine while saying they're a boy, I just feel like I'm being made fun of or being made a mockery of.

Not dysphoric but

I don't have dysphoria or anything, I'm okay with my body. Sometimes I like dressing up girly, but sometimes I like dressing up like a guy. But I know I'm not gender fluid because I would still like to be perceived as a guy. Is that okay? Or..???

Rather stay female

I’m scared that I’ll end up looking like so many trans guys I’ve seen online.

So many just seem to look like butch lesbians with deep voices. I wish I knew what I would look like post-transition. It’s something that is really putting me off coming out and transitioning…

I would rather stay female then get stuck in that weird in between.

Femme boy blues

I’m starting to think that the reason it took me so long to discover that I was ftm is that I’ve always presented femme, even though something about my identity as female and my feminine body never felt right.