second guessing

i came out to my mom almost a year ago, and i honestly didn't and still don't know how to take her reaction. she didn't immediately agree(?) with is and just kept asking questions like i was sure. and honestly all that did was make me question myself more. like i know i want to use he/him pronouns, i want to go by my chosen name, i want a flat chest (physically not just binded) and want to present as a boy. she mentioned she would let me get top sugery if i went to therapy for it first, which scares me bc i feel like its more or less going to make myself question and second guess myself more. and i asked if could go on T for just 6 months just to help with my voice dysphoria but she got really like upset? and said no bc she works with a trans man who's been on T for years and "still has the same voice" and she doesn't want me to get permanent results incase i "regret" it. (on a side note with said coworker my mom still misgenders them). i'm only 16 soon to be 17 and i know i just have to wait a few more years before i can take control myself, but i don't feel comfortable doing this while still living at home, but moving out would take a long time, and leaving for college would cost a lot of money. i have really super supportive friends and that's more than what most people have, but my other trans friends have suportive family and it just makes me so jealous seeing them be so open at home. like im still struggling to get my mom to use my chosen name more. and ever since i came out it feels like she purposely emphesizes my "female" pronouns more. some days are just worse than the others and i want these feelings to go away.