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30/11/2015

Top surgery anxieties

I’m SO ready for top surgery but can’t afford it yet. Top surgery is almost all I think about. I got a second job recently to help me save up for surgery. But I’m nervous about the pain and the healing time because my day job kind of requires lifting and movement that isn’t conducive to my future post-op healing. So I’m already nervous about that…….but even being shirtless in front of anyone that’s not my partner, even a doctor or a surgeon, is really stressful to me.

29/11/2015

Can't stop hearing it

My girlfriend called my junk a cooter one time over a year ago and she apologized and we both cried for an hour or so. Now we’ve stopped having sex and every time i try to get something going i hear her saying it over and over and i can’t push back the feeling that she doesn’t really see me as a man and the further i get into my transition the more it feels like she isn’t attracted to me and just resents me for bringing her into my struggle. I thought she was going to leave me the other day. That lead to some really bad thoughts.

28/11/2015

My junk

recently i’ve been involved in a physical relationship with someone i’ve known since i was 6.  she identifies as a lesbian and has said that she doesn’t know if she can talk about my junk as if its hard (wants to use biologically accurate wording).  i hate this and i feel bad for continuing the physical relationship.

27/11/2015

in love with a transman

Im bisexual woman and i think i fall in with a transman . Ive got questions that can not ask him. Does he get periods? Or talking about his sexual parts bothers him or not ??

26/11/2015

Still a girl to parents

I feel like I’m not allowed to say I’m a guy because I was afab. My parents also say that until you get surgery your still the gender you were assigned at birth. Hearing them say that and being told I need to accept that I’m a girl is really upsetting. I hate it and how I’ll have to live in this body forever. Its really depressing.

25/11/2015

STP in Singapore?

Hi. I am s transman from Malaysia. I want to find out if there is a place in Singapore where I can buy STP packer?

24/11/2015

Hitler

My grandma told me as I was coming out that Hitler would have killed me 

23/11/2015

Saving for top surgery

Everyone misgenders me all the time when I’m out. I don’t pass at all and I just don’t feel like I should even be here :/ worst part is, I have been saving for top surgery for a month now, I’ve got 5.20…😦

22/11/2015

Femme boy blues

I’m starting to think that the reason it took me so long to discover that I was ftm is that I’ve always presented femme, even though something about my identity as female and my feminine body never felt right.

21/11/2015

Depressed while trans

50 percent of the trans community deals with depression. 50 FUCKING PERCENT. I AM NOT ALONE, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS. WE WILL BE OKAY.

20/11/2015

Eating is hard

One of the scariest changes about starting hormones was the mere thought of gaining weight. I am 2.5 weeks on testosterone but I have lost, not gained, weight. Boys have eating disorders, too.

19/11/2015

On FTM p*rn

To the guy who asked about ftm p*rn -
theres always bonusholeboys on tumblr. you have to pay to watch their whole videos but the sneakpeeks are good too. and there is also TransboyNH on xtube. he doesnt have a ton of videos but theyre good and free.

18/11/2015

Hate dating / no prosthetics problem

Whenever I pass to someone I’ve met and it’s come to the point where they ask if I’ve lost my virginity yet, I’ve always had to reply- “It’s complicated.” They’ve got all these ideas in their head on why it’s complicated, and I never fancy coming out with, “Oh it’s because I wasn’t born with a penis.”

17/11/2015

Scared of T's side effects

I go in for my first T appointment tomorrow and I’m so scared because the side affects. I’m naturally really bad at controlling my anger and one of my brothers was bi-polar and my other brother was schitzophrenic. And it’s putting a lot of stress on my relatonshps with people around me. I don’t know what to do but feel I like I need T but I’m scared

16/11/2015

Dad's tattoo

I’m afraid to change my name to something not similar to my birth name, cuz my dad got my initials tattooed on his arm, and I don’t want him to go through all of the trouble of changing it.

15/11/2015

Trans friend

I just really need a trans guy friend who can understand my problems and be there with me through them.

14/11/2015

Tips for a 14yo coming out?

I’m 14 almost 15 and I’m thinking about coming out soon to my parents. Any tips, story’s or anything would be nice. Thank you.

13/11/2015

I'm afraid I'll never find anyone

Not just because I’m trans and I think it’d be hard to find someone willing to accept me and love me for who I am, but also because I was sexually harassed and now I’m terrified to be near anyone. Let alone be simply touched by anyone. What if I do find someone but I’m too scared to accept any relationship myself?

12/11/2015

Sick with anxiety

Everyday before work I’m sick to my stomach with anxiety about my dysphoria. Makes me wanna die sometimes.

11/11/2015

Time bomb

I once read that once you attempt suicide, it never stops being an option.
(My depression is better than ever. My parents support me. I’m on T. I aid my local trans community.)
There’s always this nagging thought that I’ll still end up killing myself if things get too sour.
(I’ve quit college for good. I’ll never afford surgery. I’ll never be totally independent. My two jobs want to fire me because I’m an HR time bomb. My trans community is dragging me down.)
And the scary thing isn’t dying. It’s disappointing everyone who’s invested their love, time, and money in me.

10/11/2015

Moments of body ignorance

There are moments of days where I forget that my packer isn’t attached to my body, that I have breasts that, or that AMAB people don’t have breasts. I love these moments, but lately it’s been hurting more and more every time I snap out of one. I sometimes wish I would never snap out.

09/11/2015

Hit me up on Kik!

Pre T transman looking for some mates !
Talk to me on Kik! SelfMadeMan1995 I’m friendly and love a chat !

08/11/2015

Ex-gf wanted to "fix" me

*** Rape Trigger Warning ***
======================

My ex girlfriend got mad at me when I told her I was trans. This was a few months after we broke up. She said that meant she had never dated a real girl before. She said she was going to "fix" me and sexually abused and raped me. I'm too scared to tell anyone what happened even though I've hinted at it to one of my friends before. I still have to see her everyday at school. I'm starting t soon and am scared she'll do something again.

07/11/2015

I'm scared all the time

I wish I wasn't a guy so life would be easy. I feel like sometimes I'm lying to myself I'm a woman because I was born in this body and it would be easier. When I come out as a man....everyone will disown me. I might kill myself. I'm scared. All the time.....

James, USA

06/11/2015

How to transition in Singapore?

I recently stumbled upon a buzz feed article about Jamie Raines transition from T's. But I've did a small amount of research to get this in SG but there's very little resources available online. So if anyone can advise on how I can get thru to transition from female to male would be greatly appreciated.

[Singapore]

05/11/2015

I have to get out

I need to transition, but I know that the moment I start, I'm going to lose my parents.  When I told them I had a girlfriend, my mom told me never to talk about it again, it was too much for them, I would ruin their reputation, and we haven't spoken about my life since then.

Every time I wear anything masculine, cut my hair, or accidentally reveal something that betrays my identity, I'm the instigator, I'm ""making waves"" and ""drawing attention"" to myself, and I'm guilt-tripped back into the closet.  I'm 24 years old and I feel like I'm suffocating.

I've been planning for the past year and saving money, and the moment I'm financially stable, I'm going to cut ties.  I'm scared.  I don't know who's going to hire me or where I can live, but I have to get out.

[USA]

04/11/2015

Sick of lying..

I'm started t 5 years ago. No one knows not my past as I've move away from where I grew up. I don't know now if I want to be open about it it stay stealth.. Cause staying stealth sometimes feels like carrying a burden on my shoulder all the time.  I know I don't need to explain/report to anyone. But it's just the fact that I need to lie from time to time and I'm sick of that.

[UK]

03/11/2015

Terrified of coming out

I'm terrified of coming out as trans because I'm a very feminine person, the way I speak and act is very "girly" I guess ... I want to come out but I don't think anyone would take me seriously considering what I'm like, it also makes me feel like I'm too feminine to be trans and that I'm just faking it

[Norway]

02/11/2015

Hairy Latino

Being latino, I've always been fairly hairy. I used to shave obsessively (even my hands!). I've been letting my hair grow and it's surprising how much there is. I've found it lessens my dysphoria and I think of it as a good thing now. 

01/11/2015

Healthcare

With all the political talks going in Singapore now, what i'm looking for is only healthcare, that includes trans.