Choice - Chance - Change

[submitted by Ian]

Can you get top surgery

without being on T yet? And does anyone know why did NUH suspend their GRS? Thanks.

Wasting my time

Understand the need to be financially stable but I just can't wait to transition. I feel that I'm wasting my time living meaninglessly.

[Clad]

Top surgery, dysphoria, gay friends

As much as I know that someday top surgery will come and not having a penis is totally ok, I still have the occasional bouts of dysphoria, especially when I'm hanging out with my circle of cis gay guy friends. It wrecks me when I see them take off their shirts and have that bulge in their pants that will never flop onto the ground by accident. Graughhh.

[Lex, Singapore]

I label myself as butch but

I have always known that I am not just a masculine girl. However, I don't think I would have the courage to transition, as much as I want to live my life as a man. Maybe it’s just that the social cost of being trans outweighs the benefits of feeling more comfortable in my body. Looking for housing as trans person, being rejected for insurance, fearing that I will never get the job/education I desire, not being able to adopt or have kids - I feel like it has worn me down so much. It seems like trans people have it worse than LGB people. Perhaps I should be contented with settling for the "second best". How do you overcome the fear of the unknown?

[Unloved, Singapore]

Insurance

Can trans individuals get insurance? especially health insurance?

[Singapore]

Career

Did you give up on a desired career path in favour of one that will accommodate your transitioning?

I have a huge fear

that I'll never meet a guy who likes me for me; regardless of being a trans guy, regardless of having been born in the wrong body. 

[A, UK]

any boys graduated/working

in science field such as chemist, biomedic, biochem etc in Singapore? I am getting fustrated, hardly get any replies at all, interview also failed. 

[pre-everything, not a singaporean]

Nursing student

Is there anyone working in hospitals? I am a nursing student, will like to know what are their take on hiring trans people.

Facial hair

I've been on T for 3 years but can't grow facial hair to save my life. I shave once or twice a week. I can still count the number of hairs I have. it's sad :(

Documentary on FTMs in Singapore

Hello brothers,

I'm working on a documentary project about FtMs in Singapore, and am currently looking for people who are willing to be on camera, willing to share their experiences.

I'm looking for individuals of all profiles, meaning anyone who has already completed all surgeries, anyone who is currently looking at surgery, and also anyone who is pre-T but is taking steps to begin the transitional process.

My producer and I are also looking at the possibility of having FtMs on camera with their faces and identifying features blurred, so people may be able to go mostly stealth.

FtMs of all sexual orientations may apply! Please get in touch via the admin, and we can speak more.

-J.
Singapore

[note from Admin, with permission: J. is the writer/planner for said documentary, and is a Singaporean FTM. He will be present throughout the interview & filming processes.]

Avoiding photos

All these while I have avoided taking photos or looking into the mirror because I am not comfortable with seeing a female figure that's supposed to be me. Every time my friends ask to take a photo together, I will reject without explaining why.

[Ted, Malaysia]

Pre-everything ≠ trans

Replying to this status ; 

@Alexander Teh : Why am i not surprised that you are the first to reply defensively. Who are you to educate about the ftm life? What do you know about what we went through. 

For those who wants to transition, i will always share when they ask me. If you can't go on T yet because of financial or family reasons, it is fine but don't go around calling yourself a transguy! You are a Pre, "I might want to transition" person. (notice that i did not even address you with feminine words? That's enough respect for you!) Nuff said! 

Missing out in life

I realize how much I have missed out in life because I am not comfortable with being socialised as female. I passed up events such as graduation ceremony because I wanted to avoid taking photos and leaving memories of myself as a girl.

[jayden, Singapore]

Medical examination

Hi,  I am interested in a healthcare profession and will like to enroll for the professional conversion programme for physiotherapists. Due to the special requirements of healthcare professions, all applicants have to pass a medical examination and be free from physical disability in order to be admitted into the programme. Is it possible not to declare that I am transgender? Will the medical examination reveal anything about me being trans? Thanks for the help!!!

[Singapore]

Trans-friendly place to rent

Hi, does anyone know a place for rent that's trans friendly? I just came out to my parents and they told me that I would have to move out if I transition. Want to have an idea where I could go when the time comes. Thanks.

[Singapore]

Non-confession, I am wondering if

anyone knows when requesting for uniform, can I request male uniforms? In government sector in Singapore.

[newbie in SG]

Just curious, how did you know you are trans

and when did you start transitioning (if you're on HRT)?

I see some local butches/pre surgery ftms posting in youtube. Please stop

because years down the road,you will regret exposing yourself! And by sharing openly, you are exposing those who wants to keep their past buried.

And please stop calling yourself a transguy when you are pre everything, singing like an ah lian/siao char bo in youtube. You know who you are. #speechless#

I am anticipating people who will reply "but but trans is in your heart". Yeah right!, u r not trans if you did not take at least T! You should call yourself pre trans, pre everything.

has anyone lied

that you have done NS when applying for a job? Did you manage to get the job without being questioned?

[JH, Singapore]

Hi, I would like to confess something.

It's not really a confession, it's more of a question that I need help with.

I've recently came out to my course managers in polytechnic and asked them to regard me with male pronouns. We decided to have a meeting, but it went horribly due to my dilemma and lack of courage, and the fact that they kept regarding me with female pronouns. I'm now planning to have a second meeting, and I just wanted to ask about whether or not anyone knows about the legal aspects of transgender issues in Singapore with regard to schools so that I can better prepare myself for the next meeting. Does anyone know whether there are any specific laws regarding transgender people in schools, like using toilets or pronouns, things like that?

Thanks!

Ted

Hi, are there any trans affirmative

counsellors/gender therapists I can look for in Singapore?

Butches do bind

[in response to this post on Facebook]

Hi, actually butches do bind and take on male names/pronouns (although it's not legal name change). Maybe this is not prevalent in some countries, but in Asia there are butches who do so. Some even had top surgery but do not identify as FTM. They identify as female, but they are comfortable with male pronouns. 

This isn't exactly about me

but I have a dear friend who's transitioning. Recently she told me to start referring to her as a him, and of his new name, and I told my mother about it and asked her to guess.

My mother, being born in the late 50s, started rattling off a list of 80s names - Robert, Vincent, Richard, Vicky, Michael, Raymond.. But in the end she managed to guess it.

I then told my friend about this experience and we had such a good laugh over how all the names my mom guessed were so typically 80s. He asked me to write the experience here cos he likes my writing style, and I just want to say I (and all the people I love who love me) love you no matter what you are, girl, boy, alien, cat, squirrel, ferret or garden snail.

[sibehnotshy, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia]

The odds are

definitely not against you! You can view me and my fiances blog, ftmcouplesaywhat , you can ask WHATEVER you need to! You and your partner. And my fiance and me (the partner) will respond accordingly.

[Roses]

re: trans partners,

my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years. though he already wasn't identifying as a woman when we started dating, he's done the bulk of transitioning (including starting t and getting top surgery) since after we got together. and things are going just fine! if anything, we're closer than ever. some changes take a bit of time to get used to, and there needs to be communication on both sides, but it can work out! i promise!

Am I trans

if I don't have strong physical dysphoria, especially bottom dysphoria? I don't hate my body per se, but I often feel disconnected with my body, it just doesn't feel like mine. I have strong social dysphoria though, I hate being seen and treated as a girl.

[Ray, Singapore]

Using your real account

Reply to admin's reply to my confession today. 
(The one about using your real account to leave comments)
Sigh, I don't mean that at all.
Why would I even think of it in that manner?
I was merely thinking about how people might react. There are definitely people who would have biased views towards it. But okay, if you're not worried. 

I'm not leaving my name exactly, because I kinda waver in between and I don't really want to be judged for not really being here or there. The people at work merely know me as someone who suddenly started wearing men's clothes from top to toe sometime late last year. I'm not exactly hiding, but I'm not exactly proclaiming anything either.

[Rain, Singapore]

Is it possible

for transmen to freeze reproductive cells so that we can have biological kids someday? 

There s a post asking for advice on fitness

If he's interested, there are a few transman who gyms together
One of us is also a PT

[Joe, Singapore]

Note from Admin, with permission: Joe writes at http://voicesofthesons.tumblr.com/ , a wonderful resource page that discusses specific FTM-related issues. Feel free to contact Joe at voicesofthesons [at] gmail [dot] com if you're looking for workout buddies, or just a friend to chit chat with.

Adoption

Hi all, I will like to adopt a child someday, are transgender individuals allowed to adopt in Singapore? Are there any restrictions? Thanks.

[Ken, Singapore]

I noticed someone

leaving a comment with his personal FB account. Please be aware that anyone can view this confessions page, and if you leave a comment with your personal account, you are letting people know who you are (including where you work).
Even though I am now tempted to send you a friend request, I will refrain because it would probably look kinda creepy.
Please be aware.

[Rain, Singapore]

If I transitioned

it will impact all of my family since its very tabo. My transition will involve everyone that knows me and I dont want to put them through that. Im separating myself from my surroundings. 

[UAE]

Predatory transwomen

Don't really like to condemn peoptra it's really getting on my nerves that most people confused crossdressers with transwomans, its totally 2 different thing.
There are also some transwoman that want to transition just because they want to wear female cloths and they are gay. I mean like, its not that simple. Just because you may have a fetish for skirts, panties etc, doesn't mean you are a trans, all this fetishism may cloud your thinking.
Even if you are feminine, that is not enough reasons for you to transition.
Some trans also give people a bad impression of trans, like they go around askinh strangers whether they want to have sex, be their boyfriend, stalking other lgbtq on social networks. Its like showing the world that transwomam are sex predators, perverts,etc.
Hey, transwoman can be like any other next door girl that look like just any other innocent girl. Because they are just like a normal girl, noone ever pays any attention to them, instead their attentions are diverted to those that are out there preying.
Not sure if i did explained it clearly but i hope you guys can roughly understand ~.~

[An innocent transwoman, Singapore]

How much do HRT

and other surgeries for Trans guys cost in Singapore?

[Malaysia]

What reason can I give

if someone asks me why I do not have to go for reservist training but I don't want him to know that I am trans?

[Singapore]

I think the link about short guys

made me felt worse. I am 5"2. Guys in the link classify themselves as short when they are 5"6=167cm. That is, to me, tall! I wish I am 5"4. To me, that would be a dream come true. If 167cm is short, what about me? Super short?

When I'm with people,

I feel like a man. Like I know that I'm a man, but when I'm by myself, I start feeling like I don't have a specific gender. Like I feel agender when I'm just hanging out at home. It's frustrating, and I don't know what to do.

I have a lot of trouble

with the nonverbal communication of my trans-identity because I’m an effeminate dandy, but the thing is, that is still a MALE persona…but so few get that.

I find myself wanting to start T so that it will be easier to communicate my trans-identity to others, because people don’t seem to understand why the “girl” in the velvet tuxedo would want to be called “he.” But I feel like starting to physically transition solely out of frustration would be running away from something, and I’d rather run TOWARDS something, so I’m still waiting until I’m sure I’m ready for ME, and not for them.

[United States]

I need a work out

buddy near Tampines area. Anyone? 

[JM, Singapore]

My friend asked me

the other day about some trans issues.

I think as a noob cisgirl I was unable to respond adequately and used the "man trapped in womans body" analogy.
Was wondering how accurate this description is of your experience?
And if there was a better way of explaining? 

[Singapore]

Do you pack

when you swim??

[T, Singapore]

Geena Rocero: Why I Must Come Out

http://www.ted.com/talks/geena_rocero_why_i_must_come_out

[ Singapore ]